FUN POST.....Brit sayings. Funny. Amirite ?
I use them all the time without thinking and often forget you don't always know what I'm talking about. So I could say something like "you're having a bubble" and you may not have a clue. lolz I don't talk like an Eastenders stand in btw but online Brit Slang adds character. I think JD's more Apples & Pears than I am :P (Can take the Lad out of the Bow Bells but you'll never take the Bow Bells out the Lad.) Look at this post as a Learning curve to understanding/translating de lingo of us Cheeky Brits....JUST IN THE MOOD FOR A BIT OF A GIGGLE...Ser
I don't use this enough , considering the amount I run across at times
Is that anything like a tosser?
Tosser is the same as Wanker babe
there once was a Wanker named Bob
who was always on the job
with one off the wrist
Life was Bliss
but some would call him a Knob
Now Poor Bob has a Wankers Arm
and with no amount of Charm
could he convince a Lady
the reason's not Shady
as his affliction is cause for alarm.
If the wanker won't GET down right next to us,
His problem need NOT be a vex to us.
The affliction's lamentable,
Quite eas'ly preventable,
By being a bit ambidextrous."
you made this post fun babe
thanks Tink
YW, Ser!
Wankers are bad, we need more suckers
Are you volunteering?
Don't answer that!
hahaha Behave Tink
Suckered are gullible people, that easily fall for scams... of course I'm not volunteering for that.
Plus I've been told that I'm one of the most skeptical people a number of times, so I don't think I'm a good sucker candidate.
Then why did you say we need more suckers?
Are you a scammer who needs more marks?
Really?... I mean really! You're asking if I'm a scammer? When I am normally a helper to people... it would hurt me to take something from someone, unless they didn't really need it. Heck I can't even be a good store room sales person because I'm too honest.
I said what I said because this entire thread is about funny saying, mainly British, but I don't know funny British saying that well. ... so I mixed a Brit saying (wanker) with a Yank saying (sucker), and they went together in more than one way... which got your dirty mind working
Me...? A dirty mind...???
There once was a skeptical scammer
Who often would make a big clamor
For more and more suckers
(Unfortunate f—kers)
To be picked, fleeced and banged with his hammer.
I've never done a bad one.
Maybe you should try a bad one.... such as a big bad wolf lol jk jk
That would indeed be bad... they wouldn't even know enough to file their claws smooth.
Of course not, more to sink into ya
Ewww!
I'm not into S&M.
But one can enjoy a few claws, biting and other stuff and be no where near s&m.
Now Zolfie, just WHAT are you thinking?
'Bout CLAWS that within me are sinking?!
No matter your pleading,
I'm NOT into bleeding,
It's NOT in my breeding, it's KINKING!
Have you never been scratched
in good hard rough sex?
Have you never been fingered
while he sits there lingering?
Have you never been tightly grabbed
while he has you?
If no then you're missing out, if yes, then you should know the rest,
How sinking fingers can be the best, as you hold each other breast to cheast
Not with CLAWS sinking in!
I can't help that you must like your men declawed so that you can dominate them ;p
And your happily taken, and don't seem to like males with claws or fight.. so I don't want to scratch, paw or bite you.
You might not be into s&m, but you seem to like d&s since you take away his weapons
I never did genital mutilation on anyone!
You don't need too
So that's your secret life?
Shhh... don't tell my husband.
He thinks I do all that housework myself.
Maybe, I guess it depends on how mad you are
Cheeky sods...is a cute Brit saying. Sometimes I'm not sure how "daft" is being used. lol Or he winds her up. lol
there are enough of them on here
I've noticed and there were times I wanted to call them that, but didn't want to steal your sayings.
I remember the first time I dipped my toe in the water and called JD a Cheeky Sod , think he fell off his swivel chair
Guess he's OK with it, he still your best friend. lol
Yep!
I've said a lot worse since 
You could get away with murder, but if I said those things to him, he'd smack me all over this place. lol
lol You're icy alright.
I know, just couldn't help but tease a little bit.
Lol - there are quite a few links about these differences:
http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/95q4/uk.html
http://www.boredpanda.com/briti...nces-language/
https://owlcation.com/humanitie...ords-and-Slang
But regional differences might also vary, and there are quite a few other interpretations in other English speaking countries, for instance in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, etc.
I'm not even sure where I've picked most of them up
it must be TV and films M
You mean from the tube and reels
Lol - maybe, but reading, speaking and writing are very important too. Aren't we writing much more than previously?
Bob's your uncle! (There you have it!)
Bobs your Uncle
Fanny's your Aunt lolz
you can learn as well while you're on my post JD
Nevermind JD , can't always be right me old Cocker
Would I me Old China
No! , this is me unintoxicated
Christ get me on here Sloshed
you'll soon know it
I Lose the very few inhibitions I possess
ain't that the truth
hahaha I Love that
hahaha my favourite Tiff
Haha yes 'bollocks' is very British.
乂^◡^乂
Is she a goer, mate? Eh? Blimey.
She's a proper Corker
A goer? Corrrrrrrr bliimey, she never bleedin stopped mate!
乂^◡^乂
Oh you've posted my favorite pair of Lovable Rogues
On the Buses Stan & Jack
Haha, yeah those boys didn't half pull sum crack between em.
Jack was always my fav though he was just mad for it the cheeky rascal.
乂^◡^乂definitely and always punching their ticket
lolz
I like to think those two are back together
Yeah me too love. 乂º◡^乂
"mmmmmmm" enjoy
Is he talking dirty to you?
hahaha no Starz , not this time
Would you Believe it , I'm taking the Wife out for a Curry
I figured as much, but what's a curry? lol Geez, you Brits sure mangle the English language. lol
Cheeky Starzy lolz
What's a Curry ?
Oh my gawd , it's only the Brit's favoutrite dish
you'd think it would be Fish & Chips or Bangers and Mash but NO!
Indian dish ...........Curry
have you never had a Curry before Starz ?
Nope, never have had curry. I know it's real spicy.
I don't know if this is correct, but I think of curry like the Indian version of peppers in the US. Some are mild as can be, while others are super spicy and different ones have different flavors.
Though, I like peppers, and I haven't liked curry when I've had it. I think I would like curry in moderation, to bring out flavors but in the curry dishes I had they seemed to dump a HUGE amount in, and I couldn't taste the rest of the meal, just curry.
I'm not a fan of anything really spicy. Some is OK, but too much, like you mentioned, ruins the food.
It wasn't the spicy part that ruined it, it was that the curry flavor (that I didn’t love) was over powering the rest of the meal. I saw meat, soy sauce (I think), veggies and more... but the only flavor I tasted was curry. It was like meat and veggies had no flavor
.
But to your spicy comment, that reminds me, my mom recently cashed in her Christmas "coupon", that I would try an Asian restaurant with her.
She ordered something spicy and when the waiter (who I thought to be about my age) asked, she proudly said she "likes it spicy"
I couldn't bite my tongue, I immediately told the waiter that she doesn't like anything I call spicy... and I immediately got the evil eyes, oh no you didn't, from her.
But luckily the waiter played it correctly, realized what I was saying and sweetly talked her into going with "less spicy" in the order... as after the meal she said she liked the spicy but anymore any it would of been too much.
I'm just glad that got me out of trouble with her... but it was clear to me they were talking about two different spicy levels. Well my mom like a fairly mild spicy and he wasn't talking about mild.
Smart waiter. lol
It depends , my Girl only eats Ckn Korma because it's only mild but I Love a Korma as well.
You wanna try one sometime , they're delicious.
I had a physical therapist who was Indian and he invited us to one of his religious gatherings, and he listed some of the foods they would be having. All very spicy, but we declined. In fact he told us we probably wouldn't like the food much. lol Probably should have went and tasted all of it.
It's not just the Curries , it's the side dishes
like Bombay potatoes and Onion bajee's and then things like Popdom's and Naan bread
all together "mmmmmmm" delicious
My Step Father used to make Curries
God he made them hot!
I was going to Sunbed and Sauna one night , by the time I had finished his Curry I'd looked like I'd already been in the Sauna
like a test of endurance lolz
How often do you eat that type of food? I'd have a stomach ulcer if I ate spicy foods very often.
Once every fortnight I like a Curry.
Of course you are JD
now adjust ya Halo babe
I think I saw it slipping a smidge
I love curries!))
Either. I prefer spicy more.
yer having a bubble ain't ya
Good , let's have some more
Shut yer foot and mouth!
Hehe well I like one I had to get it in somewhere.
乂^◡^乂
Okay, so what's a giraffe and what's a bubble
Bubble Bath .........laugh
Giraffe ...........laugh
looked that up silly things for sure
Scottish as well!
true Jaxxi
When I drove a limo I noticed that every time I picked up British girls I got called "a cheeky bostid" ... again ... and I never knew if that was good or bad.
I never drop my R's
but most People do say it like SmartAZ said
Lolz did you see what I added to my explanation about you earlier JD on this post ?
I remember it as a term of endearment.
they called you a Cheeky Bastard
what were you doing SmartAZ , what were you up to ?
Clearly that's good (or sexual harassment), but I'm guessing it was very good.
~ A cheeky (means your personality has curves like cheeks which is good)
~ bos (boss, you're in charge... also good)
~ tid (which clearly stands for "top in driving", so these are all good)
Tighter than a Nun's Chuff
one of my faves
hahaha Stuff Sister J
I'm amused
Chuck Tom is right, Ser.
No mercy for you.
No fun Burning alone
And JD always gets burned too.
But there's a difference between the burners and the burnee.
ahhhhhh Poor JD , it's not his fault his Limericks don't come up to par
And the Rhymagra didn't help at all.
His limpericks are as limp as ever.
I'm making it worth the visit
hahaha trust you
Tom, if I may make a suggestion,
NEVER should you ask such a question.
Gentlemen never tell, or ask to know
Of motions to and fro, where juices flow.
Ask away, then.
But don't expect no answer.
We all know what happened to the last person that fucked with SJ! 乂ᴼₒᴼ乂
I thought she used a lot of candles.
Thick ones.
I can't resist
what a Dirty habit.
another one's Brit's use when they are gasping for a drink
"I'm dryer than a Nun's snatch"
we're so rude
Not THIS nun's!
http://www.amirite.com/809691-f...mirite/2573378
We have bubbles with Plat all the time,
(Oh drat, I meant lager and lime),
But please, Ser, who cares
If he's apples and pears?
At LEAST he should know how to rhyme.
hahaha I made this post for both of us and he's getting arse about face with our Brit sayingsTink
He's getting his April kicked.
As usual.
hahaha April ?
April Foo;s ....Balls
Yes, that too.
Front and rear.
April = April in Paris = aris = arse
Greek also works.
Aristotle = arse
But when the theme's a compilation
Of such topics of fixation
As, we see, of mstrbation,
Coplation, forncation,
Other parts add inspiration.
hahaha I second that
"You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!"
You've been scarfing down too much Ruby Murry, JD.
A Ruby is your Rubber Glove,
That in the loo you'll later shove?
I'd rather ignore other interpretations - lol.
This powwow takes a slith'ry turn,
causing too many hearts to burn;
passion can be far too painful -
certain winners quite disdainful -
so, let's try to pair divulgence
with some innocent indulgence ...
Aw - thank you, John.
Lol - Think - poor Platty - unless it rhymes with "Flatty" (for Flatfoot) with his "striking" arguments:
(though a rather silly and respectless slapstick parody)
it can provide a relaxing moment of epicaricacy - and make all happy.
Oops - that reminds me too much of a parody:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C..._Up_the_Khyber
(a mountain pass)
Well, the glory was shared with the Scottish soldiers and their kilts - lol.
how shocking! 
- 
I don't know if you can use the term "endearment" - but the famous dry and black humour seems (seemed) to be the winning element.
Get JD to try to write a limerick.
Your gales of derisive laughter will overwhelm any annoyance you may have.
I've never heard of that one
http://www.cockneyrhymingslang....april_in_paris
even I'm learning something
I've not deleted anything J
A useful info - thank you, Thinkerbell.
YW, Marianne!
And you reminded (discretely) about this "r" which makes a relevant difference between British and US definitions of seating systems - lol.
It's quite colourful! Yesterday, a bit after sparrow's, I ran a 12k. After lunch I bought a new fanny pack, which goes on the front and not the back. I was knackered when I got home, so sore I had a hard time walking up or down the apples and pears. Would you Adam and Eve this, or do you think I'm telling porkies? Have a butcher's!
Very clever Masha
Here's another one. On the hunt for a new drum? It's just a few clicks from mine!
Maybe they'll name another set of flats after the meat and two veg, or, if you like cricket (or ancient carpentry terms), stump and two bails.
I love the more colourful phrases you spice up your language with
The Cockney Alphabet
Clapham and Dwyer version
A for 'orses (hay for horses)
B for mutton (beef or mutton)
C for 'th highlanders (Seaforth Highlanders)
D for 'ential (deferential)
E for Adam (Eve or Adam)
F for 'vescence (effervescence)
G for police (chief of police)
H for respect (age for respect)
I for Novello (Ivor Novello)
J for oranges (Jaffa oranges)
K for 'ancis, (Kay Francis)
L for leather (Hell for leather)
M for 'sis (emphasis)
N for 'adig (in for a dig, or infra dig.)
O for the garden wall (over the garden wall)
P for a penny (pee for a penny)
Q for a song (cue for a song)
R for mo' (half a mo')
S for you (it's for you)
T for two (tea for two)
U for films (UFA films)
V for La France (vive la France)
W for a bob (double you for a bob)
X for breakfast (eggs for breakfast)
Y for Gawd's sake (why, for God's sake)
Z for breezes (zephyr breezes, see West wind)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cockney_Alphabet
God gave the Scots whiskey so they wouldn't take over the world.
See how we rub off on ya
Bloody is a Brit term
lolz
So you have Cockney Blood running through you , this doesn't surprise me 
Oh Wow! he was a Conductor of an Express Car
ahhhhh it must of been hard for her with 5 Children Bless her
lolz was that Danny Dyers script for Eastenders
Danny Dyer is
I like him
Ser! Stop talking about your "flat", we both know you have curves in the all the right places
Seriously the flat phase confused the heck out of me the first time I heard it, and my brit friend kept using it, so I had to stop her and ask what the heck she was talking about.
hahaha I remember confusing a few People talking about my first flat on SH
what do you call them ?
Apartments, I believe. .. at least that's how a flat was described to me, when I asked them to explain.
that's it
That's what she said ;)
Welsh saying-' I'm being a bit twp' as in being a bit dense.
we use the term Twerp ..........for someone acting like an idiot
as in "shut it , you're acting like a right twerp"
is that the same Taff ?
Sort of but it's more about not understanding something obvious.Someone said their car was Called POS earlier( not on here) and it took ages to dawn on me what it meant.
I try not to poke too much fun at the Brits. They call the back end of a car a "boot" and that is quite enough.
and you my American friends call it a Trunk
lolz you Daft lot , everyone knows only an Elephant has a trunk 
I'm not sure where the British got the term "boot" from, but back in the day, a lot of cars didn't have any storage in the back, so people would add a literal trunk to the back of the car.
ah! now it makes sense
Maybe the term "boot" came from the fact that trunks were usually made out of leather, with buckles to hold the lid down, so, constructed kind of like a boot.
Doesn't he know we're English and make the language up as we go along?
Bits and Bobs are Cock and Balls
lolz puff .......is what I call Marijuana
A puff is what we call someone who's stoke on trent up North. 乂^◡^乂
Wanker, lol
We Love that one as well CZAR
Gutted.....I had no idea what that meant when a friend said it. She had to explain.
Severely disappointed .......is to be gutted :)
I have thoroughly enjoyed this post. I've been out Limericked by the Queen of Limericks wink I've taught you lot a thing or two about Brit lingo and I've even learned one or two things myself .........I knew this would be a giggle
No Brit post would be complete without my Grandad's two favorite Cockneys.
I don't Adam & Eve it , JD you Voted on our post lolz wink
lolz myself and JD have turned into the cast of Eastenders on this post and our American friends have turned into Dick Van Dyke
lolz Mince Pies .....Eyes
Pork Pies ......Lies
unless you actually mean a Pork pie
they are good.
oh if you like Guy Ritchies films Ergo
you'll enjoy this
https://hdonline.to/watch/snatch-season-1-19882
https://web.facebook.com/suyant...1947481938876/
I'm a bloody Finn, as we all know. I just told DS, as a private matter, that I have the bad habit of mixing up both American and UK/Can dialects, which makes me quite a weirdo, probably. I just wish I had tossed that cannon a bit sooner, now I'm probably going to get nicked, but that's what happens to yobbos like myself. Actually, I think "yobbo" is my favorite word, although it's not as flamboyant as "flamboyant".