Dear God: It's me, the Dog Dear God: Is it on purpose that our names are spelled the same, only in reverse? ...Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, But seldom, if ever, smell one another? ...Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit On your couch? Or will it be the same old story? ...Dear God: Why are there cars named after The jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, The colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE Named for a Dog? How often do you See a cougar riding around? We love a nice car Ride! Would it be so hard to rename The 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'? ...Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off In the forest and no human hears him, Is he still a bad Dog? ...Dear God: We Dogs can understand human Verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, Horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, Electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee Flight paths. What do humans understand? ...Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? ...Dear God: Here is a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog: ...1. I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it or after he throws it up. ...2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. ...3. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. ...4. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. ...5. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. ...6. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'. ...7. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table. ...8. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after. ...9. I will not come in from outside, and immediately drag my butt across the carpet. ...10. I will not sit in the middle of the living room, and lick my crotch. ...11. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy', so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. ...P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?