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We dont argue. We disagree, sometimes, but....compromise.
Ive been in that power struggle trap. Never again.

@Carla We dont argue. We disagree, sometimes, but....compromise. Ive been in that power struggle trap. Never again.

And it doesn't matter whether your relationship is gay or straight...there can always be power struggles...

@Carla You are very right. As i said...been there.

I always thought that a lesbian relationship was going to be kind and welcoming...but a friend told me there was just as much of a power struggle as there was in a straight relationship. As you said.

@Sukiesnow I always thought that a lesbian relationship was going to be kind and welcoming...but a friend told me there was...

Any relationship should be kind and welcoming.
Some are toxic. Or become that way.
As for power struggles....being in control all the time isnt all that it's cracked up to be.

Or...Drama.

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@2612037

Best just to give it. Expectations are killers.

@2612037

Someone wise once said...never give your heart to be broken...

@Carla I think that is a warning about foolishness.

Yes...don't you see it ALL the time when some ppl (for example the very young) rush headlong into love situations...only to then reel back...aghast if/when things go awry....

@Sukiesnow Yes...don't you see it ALL the time when some ppl (for example the very young) rush headlong into love...

Oh yes. Not just teenages.
When a person gets involved with someone who is cheating on another. Somehow they believe that it wont happen to them. So blind.

@2612037

Very wise words. Something I finally learned.

I would really like that saying on my wall in a frame

I don't see it as a power struggle as it is one is simply a stubborn jackwagon that can't admit their wrong

🦋

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@2612126

Just the supid ones, though...:)

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@2612126

Exactly :)

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@2611909

I'd go even further to state that most arguments with anyone might be power struggles. And maybe stubborn people...

We don't argue, we discuss. And try to agree.

That depends on the individuals. I know of some men/women that will agree to avoid a conflict or an argument, but that is not the case with boyfriend and I wouldn't want him to be that way either.

@Sukiesnow Good luck with that...really. Not everyone knows how to argue fairly.

That's true, but what's fair to one person may not be the same to the other. Arguing is an emotional state, it's about who can control their emotions more than the argument itself.

Money, always the money. 乂º◡^乂

Adas avatar Ada Agree +6Reply
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@2612120

Until an irresitible, intellegent, employed woman comes along.......

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@2612136

That sounds fair.
But she should have line item #2.
$10 fee for tuning out. Per conversation:)

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@2612151

Sounds like you have a plan that works for you:)

It's a war. Anti-personnel mines are more practical and less expensive than divorce lawyers.

and Jan always wins

I've had friendships and relationships with family members that have been constant power struggles but I have been really fortunate not to have had that in a romantic relationship, we just discussed issues and came to a mutual conclusion, usually without much stress....until it all ended.

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@2613353

It's possible I didn't get the message across...it's a very subtle way of assertion...usually happens more at the beginning of a relationship... Like, say what...who am I kidding? My sis and bil still argue when either one is driving...that is another popular avenue of assertion...

Usually...no one "seeks out dominance" ...it just sort of happens... Your explanation - it sounds like they have more problems...

Perhaps you and your partner have got individual, defined roles...that cuts out a lot of chatter...you take out the garbage...she does the cooking. You vacuum (which s/b a man's job anyway); she does the laundry...etc.

Defined roles or jobs can work out; but what happens if that partner is no longer available and suddenly you realize you know nothing about finances?

It's not always about power. There are a lot of arguments over how to raise the children, especially when one parent is the let them do whatever they want and the other thinks they need some guidance. The easy going one can be dangerous to the health and welfare of children.

@SmartAZ That depends totally on what the guidance is.

How about not playing with chainsaws, not letting them alone in the car "for a minute" which they put in gear and rolled out the driveway, luckily no one was hurt, just some sidewalk cement forms. Or "don't give the kids the key to the car" and having to be told that they wrecked the car they weren't supposed to have. Simple basic guidance that keeps the kids alive for a while.

I have only been in one relationship where arguments were the norm. Power had nothing to do with it, she simply wanted arguments. I finally exed her.

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