What is the best fake excuse you have ever used when calling to get out of work?

Image for post What is the best fake excuse you have ever used when calling to get out of work?
Visigothicreigns avatar Jobs & Employment
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@2639289

Look at that work ethic! I feel ya, though. Can't really call out these days since I work from home. =D

@2639289

Well, we all know you have Ebola, but are there any other issues?

When I was in my early 20's, I was scheduled a shift at 6am. I didn't get out of work the previous night until well after midnight. The next morning I called my boss and told him I was way too sick to come in. Well, being the nosy fuck he was, he asked me what was wrong. I replied with "anal issues". There was dead silence for a good few seconds, and then an "Oh. Ummkay? Hope you feel better." click. 🤣😂 Hahaha, fuck that guy. I don't miss that job at all.

"I can't fly today, I have Spanish flu."

Well, everything goes through in Finnish military intelligence, as we're all stupid assholes. Except, now that I'm out of that circle, I'm considerably smarter.

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@2639346

That's not too bad. It's always weird giving an excuse even if you are calling out for a legitimate reason.

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@2639486

Lol. I have tried to get out of jury duty, but both times I failed pretty miserably.

I told them I had eye trouble.
I just couldn't see myself coming to work that day.

Spiked drink last night

Someone left the backyard tap on all night and my house is flooded. Funny thing is that happened -.-

I never made excuses not to work.

Anonymous