I was told by my neighbor that he was "anally capable of making any dish under the sun with perfection".
My neighbor saw me cleaning the grill today and decided to approach me. He offered me over for dinner and then told me that little gem. I had to say, "Uh, what?" when I heard it. He then repeated himself. My ears weren't deceiving me. I didn't know what to do besides politely decline. Who fucking talks like that? Anally? I don't want any ass food, dude. Mind you, he's 60 something years old, but he's not senile or anything.