I just logged on, and I've seen 3 posts about (1)cheating, (2)character, and (3)underage dating. lol... So I will ask something that has occasionally crossed my mind. If a married person flirts on the internet, without the knowledge of his or her spouse, can that person be considered trustworthy?

If he or she can't be trusted by their spouse, should they be trusted by anyone?

Image for post I just logged on, and I've seen 3 posts about (1)cheating, (2)character, and (3)underage dating. lol... So I will ask something that has occasionally crossed my mind. If a married person flirts on the internet, without the knowledge of his or her spouse, can that person be considered trustworthy?
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There is a big difference between flirting and cheating. Now hiding it from your spouse is a little different. I haven't posted anything on here that would mind my wife seeing. I guess age makes a difference too. The older you get the easier it is to harmlessly flirt for fun as opposed to trying to charm your way into a relationship. JMHO

@SweetnLow The issue isn't "is flirting cheating?" I'm asking if a stealth flirter is trustworthy?

I would have a problem with the stealth communication. I have shown my wife how to get on to this site and set up an account. Our phones are left in the house without passwords and we can easily look at each others texts.

So to answer your question, if a person is trying to hide their communications I would question trusting them. :)

@Will_Janitor There is a big difference between flirting and cheating. Now hiding it from your spouse is a little different. I...

You, my friend, are a gentleman, and I would bet money that you always have been. How do I know? Because only a gentleman would say "trying to charm your way into a relationship" rather than "trying to get laid". You were raised right!

wink smilie

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@2653550

Yes, if you know he is online. But what about the closed door flirter? Just asking. I'm curious to what you all think. Trustworthy or no?

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@2653561

So a married person who flirts on the internet behind closed doors is trustworthy. Ok ,Thank you. That's all I wanted to know smile smilie

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@2653574

Why would you ask why if you trust him?

"if I trust him, I trust him." That's what you said.

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@2653591

y smilie lol ...ummm, perhaps..

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@2653595

I only wanted to know if that person is trustworthy. Yes or no.

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@2653600

All you said is if you trust him , you trust him, then ask why he has the door closed. Maybe he has a medical condition. hehe smilie
Maybe his right claw hand is wedged between his legs.

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@2653616

Not if he is flirting online behind closed doors and behind my back. I guess we are all different.

But hey, thanks... I'm still laughing about the medical condition reply. Made my day.

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@2653627

It says I'm not naive.
But your animosity toward me goes much deeper than I thought. What is it? My youth? My skin? My preferences?
What?
Or are you just a mean old lady?

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@2653635

Then that narrows it down to mean old lady.

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@2653544

I know women cheat, for sure. Just as much, if not, more. Women are just smarter , less impulsive about it and don't get caught as much. hehe smilie

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@2653555

Maybe one of those guys who can't take "it's over" for an answer, so she had to show him. no smilie

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Just being friendly is interpreted by some people as "flirting", I'd say. No, I would not be real comfortable with knowing that my spouse or anyone I was in a committed relationship with, showing even a supposed playful interest of that kind in a particular someone else.

No, I would not necessarily consider them untrustworthy. simply because they "flirted" with someone else.

When I was married I only posted things online that i knew my partner would be ok with, even if she never actually saw it. So for some people the boundaries can be different and still be ok... or not etc.

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@2654334

I agree. The sneaking is the issue. Deceit would definitely make someone untrustworthy.

You have to start paying more attention to the walruses and random signs about accident porn. Everybody flirts on the Hinternet, it's not exactly comparable with the intent to commit treason or strangling the neighbor's chickens for fun.

@SweetnLow So a "little" lie is not a lie?

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Monica Lewinsky" is a lie.

Flirting a bit isn't. Relativity is what the life is all about. Black and white gets people stuck more often than fifty+ shades of gray.

@SweetnLow lol... can that person, who flirts behind his or her spouse's back, be trusted or not?

Well, I wouldn't trust Bill Clinton. The guy plays a saxophone, for the dog's sake!

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@2653549

She is the saxophone.

Flirting isn't cheating. Taking of my clothes and getting funky with someone other than my wife is cheating. Nobody needs to everything I do, her included.

@JerryHendrickson Flirting isn't cheating. Taking of my clothes and getting funky with someone other than my wife is cheating...

That wasn't what I asked. If a married woman was flirting with you on the internet, and her husband didn't know about it, would you consider her trustworthy?

@SweetnLow That wasn't what I asked. If a married woman was flirting with you on the internet, and her husband didn't...

It depends on the individual. I won't paint everyone who does with a broad brush. Some are certainly devious and others trustworthy.

Why is this so difficult? lol

Interesting question with much to consider...

Flirting is defined as playful, superficial, and has no serious intent. Flirting is light and casual and doesn't convey any deep meaning.

If we use that definition, then in my opinion simply engaging in an online flirtation would not make someone untrustworthy.

For someone to be untrustworthy, his or her behavior requires fraud, deceit, lying, dishonesty, etc...a person who willing breaks the rules he/she has previously agreed to follow.

So...If a couple has mutually agreed that neither one will flirt with other people and unbeknownst to one the other engages in an online flirtation, would he or she be considered untrustworthy? Yes. It's the deceit and disregard of mutually agreed upon rules that makes him or her untrustworthy. Even if he or she was only engaging in what we have defined as flirtatious behavior, his or her actions have made him or her untrustworthy.

No. Because I'm well aware of this fact and polyamorous, I would trust neither my partners nor myself in a marriage.

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@2653524

I'm 192 years old. Wait... Oh.

No. Not necessarily because of the flirting but because the person witheld it from their significant other.

I would say no, the person is not trustworthy.
Cheaters cheat. If someone would be less than honest with his / her spouse, I wouldn't expect that person to trustworthy at all.

I believe there is a political reason for this being POTD.

Correct me, if I am either out of line or properly incorrect.

This site needs new blood and the only way we can attract new people to stick around is to offer a carrot. That is the driving force, since even Zonkeys go for the carrot much more eagerly than a stick. I might have seventeen buttocks and most of them aren't my own, but the stick still hurts. Carrot only hurts, when it comes out. I can see, why new members get special treatment. That is fair and even I like the new blood around - even though I am a vampire, so any blood will do. However, are we kissing ass? Well, that's how my parents had their first date, but that isn't really the point here...

Is this the new policy of the site - every new member gets one and the old farts will be buried somewhere in the backyard? I don't follow the logic, even though it is logical in its purest form. Survival. Yes, well... No. This is getting weird.

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