IRISH TALKING CLOCK After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom, where there was a big brass gong and a mallet. ”What's that big brass gong?” one of the guests asked. “It's not a gong. It's a talking clock.” the drunk replied. “A talking clock? Seriously?” asked his astonished friend. “YUP, it is” replied the drunk. “How does it work?” the friend asked; squinting at it. “Watch” the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed: “Hey ASSHOLE! It's 3:15 in the MORNING!”