I was formally counseled by my Manager for eating a carrot at work

I had an incident at work today which I felt was so bizarre that it has prompted me to make my first ever post on AM.

I work in an open office with about 150 cubicles on each floor and someone reported me for eating a carrot at my desk as it was too loud so I was formally counseled by my Team Leader who I might add, struggled to keep a straight face given the ridiculous system that allows such a report to be taken seriously.

I was told that I don't have to stop eating carrots but now I will be given two carrot-breaks during the day to be taken in the lunch room (yes it's true!)

So I'm now going to have to be either less productive or give up carrots and I only eat two a day. Most other people eat chips which I felt were just as noisy and less healthy.

If you were my employer, how would you deal with such a complaint? You may include politics and the use of guns :)