It was pretty fun when you were supposed to be at youth group but instead you were sleeping in a bus stop hut wearing only one shoe and also someone else's pants for some reason all while dying of alcohol poisoning

I never did anything like that. Where in the world did you grow up???

State that isn't going to let anyone catch you

Wow, I see no humor in that. Nothing like that ever happened to me or my friends, but I don't drink.