What is the worst thing to say on an airplane?

Image for post What is the worst thing to say on an airplane?
ThePrinceofWaless avatar Travel
Share
10 31

He's got a gun!

@JerryHendrickson He's got a gun!

We all have, never leave it home.

@ZonkeyBalls We all have, never leave it home.

Not on a plane. You'd be in some seriously deep doo-doo.

@JerryHendrickson Not on a plane. You'd be in some seriously deep doo-doo.

"This is a fake gun and I'm a fake Air Marshall!" Everybody, keep your shit together for now. Thank you.

Say this in a dispassionate tone over the intercom:

Good evening. This is your Captain. We are about to attempt a crash landing. Please extinguish all cigarettes. Place your tray tables in their upright, locked positions.

"From the Air"
Laurie Anderson

"I had sex with the pilot two years ago and I know she has an incurable STD, because I gave it to her. She might die any second now."

@DandyDon There's always auto-pilot..

"I also fucked the auto-pilot on this very plane, in three different ways at one sitting."

@DandyDon Oh....Grab the seat cushion!

"I also might have infected all of the seat cushions with some weirdly tainted crocodile blood I always carry with me, for occasions like this."

@DandyDon

Whenever this particular STD comes to the public's attention, they will nickname it "Dundee". And also, I knew you were going for Airplane! (1980).

@DandyDon Oh yea, like that dude... Ralph Dundee?..

Dundee Done Deed, "The Triple D", as they called him, before he was eaten by a giant woman during a circus act in Belfast, NI.

WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE, ARRGGH!!! 乂^◡^乂

"Did you just feel that...?"

You're the bomb

To the person next to you; you dead body would be used as a floatation device should we experience a water landing.

I want a refund..

Please   login   or signup   to leave a comment.