He's got a gun!
We all have, never leave it home.
Not on a plane. You'd be in some seriously deep doo-doo.
"This is a fake gun and I'm a fake Air Marshall!" Everybody, keep your shit together for now. Thank you.
I want a refund..
There's a bomb on this plane.
Is that an F-bomb?
Say this in a dispassionate tone over the intercom:
Good evening. This is your Captain. We are about to attempt a crash landing. Please extinguish all cigarettes. Place your tray tables in their upright, locked positions.
"From the Air"
"I had sex with the pilot two years ago and I know she has an incurable STD, because I gave it to her. She might die any second now."
There's always auto-pilot..
"I also fucked the auto-pilot on this very plane, in three different ways at one sitting."
Oh....Grab the seat cushion!
"I also might have infected all of the seat cushions with some weirdly tainted crocodile blood I always carry with me, for occasions like this."
Whenever this particular STD comes to the public's attention, they will nickname it "Dundee". And also, I knew you were going for Airplane! (1980).
Oh yea, like that dude... Ralph Dundee?..
Dundee Done Deed, "The Triple D", as they called him, before he was eaten by a giant woman during a circus act in Belfast, NI.
WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE, ARRGGH!!! 乂^◡^乂
"Did you just feel that...?"
You're the bomb
To the person next to you; you dead body would be used as a floatation device should we experience a water landing.