Have you come to terms with your own mortality?

I absolutely have not. Death is this black hole of a beast who I try to not think about...but I know She's there lurking.... I can't bear the thought of losing my wife or having her lose me. If I didn't have her, I think I would be much further along in terms of being okay with dying someday. I have to perish the thought every single time it arises, though, which is more frequently than I want. Fuck that looming spectre, honestly. (This isn't an invitation for a lecture, btw. Just sharing openly.)