People can get caught up in how it is supposed to be...rather than how it really is.
Isn't that part of what we do here? We all have ideals of what should be...and we work hard with questions and comments...to try and make our vision a reALITy...or at least to understand why it isn't...ha.
Our thoughts of ideology can blind us to what is directly in front of us. Especially in love, even when everyone else on the outside sees certain things, that person let's their heart be their eyes..
I've always found wanting is sometimes better than having. Sad but true.