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What you should know by the time you're 30.

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Sukiesnows avatar Life
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How to support yourself without your parents or taxpayer assistance.

How to eat proficiently with chopsticks.

How to drive.
Following the law.
Good manners.
How to stand up for yourself.
How to take care of your family.
How to be a good person.
How to save money.

Proper dental hygiene.

How to return food or wine in a restaurant.

that youre allowed to say "no". full stop. you dont even have to give a reason.
"come with me to run my errands!"
"no" :)

"lets go on a date!!! let me kiss you!"
"No."

"i know you have too much on your plate but can you add this extra thing for me?"
"nope!"

i love to just say NO. it is so satisfying. im in charge of what i do and i am not gonna say yes unless i fuckin want to. no one gets to pressure me into doing things i dont want to do. i only have one life and its really short so its gonna be spent how i want it to be spent, as much as possible.

@astral_queen that youre allowed to say "no". full stop. you dont even have to give a reason. "come with me to run my errands!"...

If you say no to everything someone asks of you, especially in a relationship, that relationship won't last long. By the time you are 30, you should understand that relationships are all about giving, on both sides.

@JustJimColo If you say no to everything someone asks of you, especially in a relationship, that relationship won't last long...

i dont. i didnt say this was about my relationship. its for random people/acquaintances/family members who feel like theyre somehow owed my time or effort

@astral_queen i dont. i didnt say this was about my relationship. its for random people/acquaintances/family members who feel...

It read that way. A stranger wouldn't ask me to run errands with them. I agree that people need to know how and when to say "no".

@JustJimColo It read that way. A stranger wouldn't ask me to run errands with them. I agree that people need to know how and...

my sister-in-law, for instance, is very pushy and tries to pressure people into doing things all the time, like going on errands with her or going to the movies with her. she doesnt like to take no for an answer. but with me, she has to! im not doing boring shit with her! lol. strangers have never asked me to run errands with them either, ha! but they do ask for dates and kisses. NO!!!!!

@JustJimColo We ARE talking about, when you are 30 here.....

im 29. but what do you mean? she is in her late 30s and still pressures people to do things they dont wanna do. i dont think i know what your reply is getting at, sorry, could you explain?

@astral_queen im 29. but what do you mean? she is in her late 30s and still pressures people to do things they dont wanna do. i...

If you are 29, and she is in her late 30's, and she is wanting you to go to the movies with her, while you are "married", something just doesn't sound right. Maybe you should portray yourself differently to her. I've been married for over 40 years and have never had any of my 4 sister in-laws ask me to do anything with or for them, except things like help them move something heavy after their husbands passed away. You can only be "pressured" if for some reason you give them reason to feel they can put you in that position.

@JustJimColo If you are 29, and she is in her late 30's, and she is wanting you to go to the movies with her, while you are...

it was while we were living with her in colorado before we got jobs and moved away. we were there so she tried to get us to do all these things with her while her husband was at work.

you can be pressured by people regardless of how you portray yourself to them. some people dont care.... in fact, many people don't care. she feels like she can put anyone in that situation because thats the person she is. she always has done that to people.

you seem to really want me to change my relationship or myself. i promise im doing well. my life and marriage are both healthy and happy. im thriving and doing better than ive done in my whole life. there! now you dont have to worry about trying to tell me how to change anymore. thanks for caring though. very kind of you to be worried about it and try to help me. <3

(also, you don't have to put marriage in quotation marks. its a real, legal marriage!! love smilie )

@astral_queen it was while we were living with her in colorado before we got jobs and moved away. we were there so she tried to...

Sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder. When I said "married", I meant it as a legally committed couple. (I didn't know you were homosexual and married to someone of the same sex until just now, after you made a point of pointing it out, implying I was making the comment "because" you are homosexual. I wasn't making an issue of you being homosexual, but you sure are.)

I never told you to change, and really couldn't care less. Perhaps you should take that, "I'm homosexual, deal with it", chip off your shoulder.

@JustJimColo Sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder. When I said "married", I meant it as a legally committed couple. (I...

interesting. i wasnt trying to start a fight with you by clarifying the married thing. i just assumed you had seen my comments on other posts or looked at my profile and knew. sorry for assuming. it is less of a chip on my shoulder, and more of a "wary because people have been extreme assholes about it a lot". also, i'm not the one who pointed out that it was a same sex marriage...i just said it was a legal one.

and you absolutely did try to tell me how to change, multiple times. i was very friendly and polite to you and you wanted to tell me off.

i hope you have a really great day. l smilie

How to have a car accident and be cool about it.

@Sukiesnow How to have a car accident and be cool about it.

Lol...that could be read two different ways, one of which is: "Let me show you how to have a cool car accident" :D I know how you meant, though :)

That you’re human and will make mistakes.

Mashas avatar Masha Agree +2Reply

Have enough clothes (outfits) so you don't embarrass people at functions...like weddings.

Know that you are NOT the center of the universe.

I'd like to hope that some people by that age would be educated enough to realize some people may have limited abilities; unusual traits; mental illnesses; developmental disabilities; developmental delays; or have been traumatized in certain ways - any of those which may make them seem inferior yet aren't.

That's a bit of a clunky explanation but I hope that's clear enough.

@PartyOfOne I'd like to hope that some people by that age would be educated enough to realize some people may have limited...

Clear as a bell! Today I saw what can easily be translated as THE most ignorant statement ever: “all humans are barbaric.” Yeah, say that to a person born with limited motor skills. Call my paraplegic housemate a savage. Smh. And to top that off, the person who made that statement is a social Darwinist, giving me the feeling that he sees anyone with a disability, myself included, as inferior, if not nonexistent.angry smilie

Mashas avatar Masha Agree +1Reply
@Masha Clear as a bell! Today I saw what can easily be translated as THE most ignorant statement ever: “all humans are...

It's infuriating, no doubt, depressing, hurtful, and incorrect. Imagine that person passing that point of view on to their son(s) and daughter(s), then they pass that on to a third generation, and so on.
I wish K-12 schools were mandated to include why effected students can't grasp teachings quite well enough as others might (without specifically naming anyone); why students with ms, cerebral palsy, and polio have to use arm crutches; why some people are terrorized by sudden noise while others aren't, and so on. I would like to see each school impart information along those lines to students from Kindergarten through fifth grade, at least - doing that just might eliminate some of the bullying and embarrassment students are made to put up with due to ignorance.
I know I went off topic by quite a bit, and I hope that's forgiven, but education in so many areas is desperately lacking in these ways and others, for the safety and well-being of the innocent(s).
Hugs, by the way :)

We should know right from wrong.

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