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How you treat your children may eventually reflect in how they treat theirs.

Image for post How you treat your children may eventually reflect in how they treat theirs.
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Basics avatar Life
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Yes, you’re right. That may happen. Also, it may not sometimes. When parents are not really good to their kids, they might suffer and learn how they don’t want to raise their kids. Just thinking. I don’t know if that actually happens.

Yeah, I won't be having children though.

Yeah, how a person is treated may be how they treat others.

True, and it's been known for quite some time...

And the LORD passed by before him, and proclaimed, "The LORD, The LORD God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children, unto the third and to the fourth generation. ..."
-Exodus 34:6 ~600 BC

The lessons and habits you pass down to your children, good or bad, intentional or not, can be passed down for generations.

I remember a story of two sons of a very dysfunctional and abusive father. One of them was a chip off the old block, in and out of jail, abusive and irresponsible. The other son was the polar opposite, he was a model family man and a constructive member of society.
What's interesting is that when asked why they were the way they were, their answer was almost identical:

"because of my father"

One son used his father's behavior as an excuse to be like him, the other used his father's behavior as an example of what he never wanted to be.

Or how they treat you.

Mashas avatar Masha Agree +1Reply
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@2771913

God, What kind of a parent is that!

Yes or how they treat their parents later in life.

@OzSurfer Yes or how they treat their parents later in life.

I’ve seen that happen. Although I also know children who’ve abandoned their extremely loving and caring parents.

Basics avatar Basic Agree +1Reply
@Basic I’ve seen that happen. Although I also know children who’ve abandoned their extremely loving and caring parents.

Some parents can come across as being extremely loving to others but at home and to their kids they can have a dark side that only they see. I grew up in such an environment. My father had problems with anger and alcohol and took it out on us kids but nobody has ever believed that. They just saw what he wanted them to see.

@OzSurfer Some parents can come across as being extremely loving to others but at home and to their kids they can have a dark...

I’m really sorry you had that going on in your childhood. That’s true. Parents are, more often than not, very different to their kids at home, and different in front of others.

That said, I know my mom’s aunt was a very loving mom. My mom used to spend weeks at their place with their daughters. After her 2 daughters and son got married, they left their parents at home. That’s alright. But then, the mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and used to run out of the gates, had bladder incontinence and her husband had already been operated for gastroc carcinoma. They could afford some domestic helpers but were robbed twice by those helpers.

Ultimately, one of her daughters convinced her husband to move to a house near their parents’ and her mom moved in with them.

There are many people who migrate to other developed countries leaving their parents alone. I’m really uncomfortable putting my parents in an old age home. In my opinion, they deserve much better. I’ve had problems with my parents but I have a lot more to thank them for.

Basics avatar Basic Agree +1Reply
@Basic I’m really sorry you had that going on in your childhood. That’s true. Parents are, more often than not, very...

I can understand what your saying. My dad has Alzheimer’s and is in his final stage. He no longer remembers me or my mum. Unfortunately there comes a time with a disease like that where it becomes impossible to care for a person in that condition at home. They can’t be left on their own as they’ll either start a fire or wander out into the street and not be able to find their way home. We did what we could until one day he went out during the night and the police found him three days later in a bad condition. So that was when he went into a special nursing home. Now though he needs 24/7 medical support. So I don’t think you can be too hard on yourself when the time comes where you can’t offer adequate care at home. My mum spends most days with him even though he has to keep asking her who she is. Still had the family had the money to hire a live-in nurse then moving him to a nursing home would have been delayed until actual hospital style accommodation was required.

@OzSurfer I can understand what your saying. My dad has Alzheimer’s and is in his final stage. He no longer remembers me or...

Yes, I agree. There will be a time when we can do bo more on our own. The women I know has two nurses attending her and needs a water bed.

Basics avatar Basic Agree +1Reply
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