Stubbornness is difficult to deal with, from both sides, actually...said the stubborn woman. But I learned that with my husband and I, when one of us was being really stubborn, there were three options that worked for us:
1. Decide whether it's really worth it. If not, give it up.
2. Do something super nice...it'll usually shock their heels right outta the ground.
3. Do something wildly outrageous...with us it was both a wake-up to how ridiculous being stubborn was in the situation and a way for us to laugh about whatever the issue was.
Unless you take it to extreme measures, stubborness can be worked around. Lying and cheating aren't in the same ballpark. If someone is so stubborn that it will likely end the relationship there is probably other issues that would have come into play anyway. Like a lack of love and caringfor the other person. JMHO.
That's what I'm saying. When one or the other refuses to give in, they are basically telling you that they don't care enough about you ("who needs you?") You aren't worth a compromise.
I'd say lying and cheating are significantly more efficient in the relationship killing department than being stubborn. Sure stubbornness unchecked can unravel everything but anything that breeds negativity could do that. I'd say in most cases cheating on a partner is going to end the relationship quicker than refusing to be the one to decide what's for dinner.
I don't know what someone is having for dinner and stubbornness have in common. Everyone has to eat eventually, and then the stand off is over. But this is the internet, and an opinion site, so thank you.
When one party or both parties absolutely refuse to give in or compromise on an issue, to the point of not speaking, or fighting for days or weeks, just to be right; that's just like saying to your partner "you don't matter"...IMO.
It was just an example.....sometimes the dinner stand off ends in the two people finding something on their own for dinner rather than doing something as a pair because neither one wants to yield. Stubbornness can a lot of times be the product of deeper issues. The result of a partner being upset and not wanting to give in to the other partner. Sure it's negative and like you said days and months and years down the road it could totally gut a relationship. I just don't agree with your statement that it's just as deadly a virus as cheating or lying.
I think that stubbornness may be more of a symptom than a deal breaker.
I mean, one doesn't become stubborn in a vacuum. Someone once cooperative, eager to know the partners POV to suddenly become stubborn - there's a reason. It might be repairable.
I would think that it's far more difficult to re-boot a relationship in which one or both parties had been unfaithful.
I think most of us can be stubborn, I can get stubborn over certain things, and so can my husband, but we eventually settle our differences. lol Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. lol
Stubbornness is difficult to deal with, from both sides, actually...said the stubborn woman. But I learned that with my husband and I, when one of us was being really stubborn, there were three options that worked for us:
1. Decide whether it's really worth it. If not, give it up.
2. Do something super nice...it'll usually shock their heels right outta the ground.
3. Do something wildly outrageous...with us it was both a wake-up to how ridiculous being stubborn was in the situation and a way for us to laugh about whatever the issue was.
Perfect.
Thank you, kindly. :)
I agree with all 3. Sometimes they end in a long belly laugh.
Oh yeah...my husband's been gone nine years and I still get a good laugh out of some of them.
Unless you take it to extreme measures, stubborness can be worked around. Lying and cheating aren't in the same ballpark. If someone is so stubborn that it will likely end the relationship there is probably other issues that would have come into play anyway. Like a lack of love and caringfor the other person. JMHO.
That's what I'm saying. When one or the other refuses to give in, they are basically telling you that they don't care enough about you ("who needs you?") You aren't worth a compromise.
I'd say lying and cheating are significantly more efficient in the relationship killing department than being stubborn. Sure stubbornness unchecked can unravel everything but anything that breeds negativity could do that. I'd say in most cases cheating on a partner is going to end the relationship quicker than refusing to be the one to decide what's for dinner.
I don't know what someone is having for dinner and stubbornness have in common. Everyone has to eat eventually, and then the stand off is over. But this is the internet, and an opinion site, so thank you.
When one party or both parties absolutely refuse to give in or compromise on an issue, to the point of not speaking, or fighting for days or weeks, just to be right; that's just like saying to your partner "you don't matter"...IMO.
It was just an example.....sometimes the dinner stand off ends in the two people finding something on their own for dinner rather than doing something as a pair because neither one wants to yield. Stubbornness can a lot of times be the product of deeper issues. The result of a partner being upset and not wanting to give in to the other partner. Sure it's negative and like you said days and months and years down the road it could totally gut a relationship. I just don't agree with your statement that it's just as deadly a virus as cheating or lying.
I think that stubbornness may be more of a symptom than a deal breaker.
I mean, one doesn't become stubborn in a vacuum. Someone once cooperative, eager to know the partners POV to suddenly become stubborn - there's a reason. It might be repairable.
I would think that it's far more difficult to re-boot a relationship in which one or both parties had been unfaithful.
Stubborness is a passing thing....and can be worked out, but lying and cheating is much more serious.
To me, constant battle between two stubborn people would be tedious to say the least BUT, I have been wrong before. I really thought most would agree
I think most of us can be stubborn, I can get stubborn over certain things, and so can my husband, but we eventually settle our differences. lol Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. lol
Yep, stubbornness can be deadly without a relationship. Makes folks do some crazy things, just to prove they could.
Being stubborn the same as having an affair with other people? What?