Relationship Question: If you do not communicate your feelings for whatever reason, doesn't it only seem logical that your partner will also hold back theirs?

Just a thought that I had occur to me as I was giving advice to a friend of mine. Also, been guilty of this myself, even more so when I felt my partner holding back. But, someone has to be the first to open up if the relationship is to work harmoniously.

Vrendowls avatar Relationships
4 14

I would say that, if a person feels like they need to hold back their feelings a little bit for whatever reason, that's not necessarily a bad thing, and the other person can agree to live with that. I guess it can be a matter of compromise, and it depends a lot on the nature of each relationship.

I'm not in a relationship, but, if I was, and I didn't communicate my feelings due to anxiety or whatever difficulty, I would be conscious that my partner might be doing the same thing. That can surely be nervewracking to realize.

But sometimes people feel like they can't just let their feelings out without understanding them better, and the only thing that can be done then is to ask for your partner's understanding on that, and to be understanding of your partner if they need to do the same.

Some people have an inability to come true to their feelings, for whatever reason, whether it's a mental disorder or fear, but if there's one thing communicated, is that coming true with insecurities and everyone has at least one, can make it understandable why one is silent about eir feelings sometimes. We don't need couples therapy to work it out, but just need time to find a way to communicate it.

I have problems letting people near me.

These days, even more than previously, which was already bad enough.

@ZonkeyBalls I have problems letting people near me. These days, even more than previously, which was already bad enough.

I went through a phase like this myself, when I seemed to be losing every person that was ever close enough to open my heart to.

probably, but you have to

Every person is different, but yes there is probably a general trend like you're suggesting.

depends on person but most of the time it goes that way

No, I don't think that's a fair statement.

Some people make assumptions about what others think of them. Maybe they are right, maybe not.

Your logic would lead me to believe that if I shared my feelings that my partner must have shared theirs. Does not compute.

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