Right now... You look like a rabid raccoon had unprotected sex with a Japanese volcano.
I need to trim up, or maybe shave
"Oh, it's the same dude again. This can't be a coincidence!"
I wish that old woman would stay out of my way .... I can't even see my own reflection!
oops I thought I got all that mascara off before bed
Jeez, your hair is flat, you need some pomade on that.
Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble!
I said,who the heck is that?
Like every morning, I focused on all the blemishes on my face, washed it with a face wash and convinced myself it made my face look better.
I haven't looked into the mirror today. I tend to avoid doing so if I can.
Oh good, maybe my hair can go another day without a shampoo.