Are those goose-stepping soldiers an advertisement for Jenny Craig?
A thousand calories of food a day and 12 hours of daily goose-stepping will get you down to 100 lbs in no time.
The Dear Leader should try that.
Have you noticed that he's the one and only fat person in all of North Korea?
Serves him right then.
Come on... He's not fat. He just has big bones, somewhere.
Only when he watches porn.
And even then, the size is just relative to what it usually is.
Well, I'm a grower, not a shower. My penis is pretty rubbish, when not erected, but the expert ladies tell me it's "normal sized", whatever that means, when the tip is up.
Well, if you must know, here is a scientific chart of the size distribution.
I don't know how many Finns were in the sample population.
Goddamnit, I'm in the upper quarter. This did brighten my evening quite a bit. Cheers.
Always cheerfully glad to be of help.
And size doesn't matter, within certain broad limits.
Oh, I have the width to stand it. Wait... Was that sexist? I hope not.
Width is fine, but length can be a problem on occasion.
Well, I don't usually go fishing for marlin with my thingy. I'm usually happy if I hit the throne, most of the times. Less to clean up afterwards. There are some minor issues with being as tall as I am.
Well maybe you could fix the issue with the issue by bending your knees a bit, or perhaps kneeling before the throne.
Wasn't that customary in olden times?
My mom told me I should pee sitting down.
I guess that is great, when there is no immediate "gotta go, gotta go, gotta bloody go now" effect involved. Otherwise it's either pants or "towards somewhere there".
Well, in an emergency, you can always pinch your foreskin shut, assuming you aren't circumcised or overly excited.
Well, I wasn't conceived in Legoland. If I had been, then I'd be in much more trouble.
What do the circumstances of your conception have to do with keeping the throne area tidy?
Well, if my penis were... I guess this is how all of the great bed-time stories begin... Although I'm not going to bed anytime soon. So... If it were made out of legos... Can I use "would" as a conditional here? Goddamnit, I've been learning English since I was six and yet... Motherf... Oh, the new mod rules. Blue James will hack my Johnson off.
You're being far too literal. In Legoland means being in a state of euphoria.
And it seems I haven't had a chance to grasp all of the nonsense terms used today, even though I try to keep my slang, both US and UK, updated every now and then.
Besides, wouldn't a Lego pns be a form of priapism?
Well, legos are easy to deattach. Unlike Viagra.
EDIT: Did we somehow veer off the original subject of the post or is it just my imagination...
Well, true, but where would you keep it until the need arose? In your shirt pocket?
I have a bag of legos, wherever I might roam.
Oh, cool! Then you can make it whatever size she wants. And she might really like those cylindrical nubs.
But, wait... can a Lego pns... um... org*sm?
When a Lego meets a girl, whom the block likes, it will automatically morph itself to Dublo. Now, now we are in orgasm troubled Sodoma, Gomorra, Dallas/Fort Worth airport (been there four times), whole Texas filled with sperm, now spreading to neighboring states... "Oh, God, please help us, this stuff just keeps coming!" yelled the man waiting for the bus. But the bus was already coverd in blocks of weirdly Danish looking sperm coming from a Finnish man.
Looks different? I think you must have meant the Danish variety smells of herring and akvavit.
No, that's the red akvavit to thicken the plot before anti-climax.
Danish sperm is red?!
OMG, I would have thought that only happens with p*nile fracture!
It's a fracture in reality.
Finnish sperm is usually mutated back to its original, greenish color.
I didn't know Finns drank Midori.
Reply to Edit: I forgot what the original subject was.
I think it had something to do with a certain North Korean leader playing with Legos.
I think he plays a lot, at least several times a day.
Have heard germans are small, Is that close enough? OH i dated 2 german guys in my life time they seemed normal to me but the smaller the better for me
Anything over 6" (15 cm) would be a rather uncomfortable stretch for me.
Who the fuck is Jenny Craig?
She runs a weight-loss service, not a house of ill repute.
They all look so very Happy.
Well, they do have their own ministry.
I do understand the sarcasm behind this question.
Unfortunately, I just read an article on a Finnish news site about a woman, who - with her family - left the country in 2007, when she was thirteen, through China and Mongolia to South Korea.
She tells us, that brainwashing is how they get rid of themselves. There is not "I", there is only "We". There is no identity. After she was introduced to her new classmates in school, she was asked what her favorite color (using the american spelling here, sorry) is. She didn't know. Her teacher said, that her was pink, so naturally - as a good North Korean - the new student went for the same choice.
In every school book she saw in North Korea, Americans were monsters. She thought that no matter where she would be, there would be torture and famine. And ye, behold, she didn't understand the world as it is, at first.
Apparently Kims have put all of the brainwashing even to the math problems. Not just songs or television, but math! What the hell...
Oh, heck, Zonk, we've known since Koestler's Darkness at Noon about the Stalinist grammatical fiction of the "I".
The Kims of NK are just the last holdouts.
Nice try Kim
No, that was his sister, Kimster.
To be completely honest,
I have no fucking idea, who Kim Kardashian is.
A woman who got famous because of a sextape of hers
Should I have a sextape of my own? I could fuck a squirrel. Would that do it?
I would't recommend it, squirrels are bad lovers
Nah, that's just badger talk.
Dont you mean beaver?
I got a quote from some news source, unfortunately it was in Finnish... Some lady in the States had hit a beaver with her car and thought it would be best, if she went back home to get a cardboard box for the poor animal, so she could deliver it to the whatever officials deal with these things over there. When she got back to the accident site, a random guy was actually having sex with the dead beaver. True story.
My reaction to this was: "Nice beaver!"
You are guilty of not saying North Korea is the best country in the world. Off to the forced labour camp for you!
Also, as an addendum, she didn't understand, what the meaning of having a "hobby" was. That should tell us all something about NK.
Of course not. A hobby is generally something you do for your own diversion.
Case in point: pornography is strictly forbidden in NK.
And I assume if they catch anyone (other than the Dear Leader) touching themselves, it means a stint in a re-education camp.
Glad you like it. Maybe you should get out more, if that is allowed, and see what the rest of the world is like....you think?
Yeah, and I live on Saturn.
I’ve heard that you can’t get gummy bears. This could just be rumor.