How am I supposed to handle this on my own? I'm 25, should be more than old enough to handle my own life, but I'm such an immature, sheltered, timid, lethargic person. Whether I should have still needed her to get by at this age or not, the fact is I did, and now she's gone. I don't understand what I'm supposed to do now. 25, no job, no house, no driver's license, no friends, living out of my gracious uncle's guest room until I finally finish school and get a job, but I'm so unreliable god knows how I'll ever hold one down. Or even get one without any connections. How can I proceed?

My arrangement to stay with my uncle was supposed to be temporary. He wasn't the one who decided that, I did. He's a very kind person and has made it clear he's willing to support me for as long as it takes, but I can't accept that, I need to get off his back and get out of here. Yet I'm so useless. And grief has only made that worse.

jaimes avatar Life
2 6

You'll never know what you can do until you try. You're too hard on yourself.

It is your CHOICE to be "unreliable" ... so change. Decide to be reliable, instead.
It is also your CHOICE not to have friends, nor a driver's license, and be immature.

@Walt_OReagun It is your CHOICE to be "unreliable" ... so change. Decide to be reliable, instead. It is also your CHOICE not to...

Yeah, you're right, I know it's a choice. It just doesn't feel like one. I know the reality is that I'm doing this to myself, but it feels as if this is just the way it is and there's no escape from it. The illusion that I have no control is powerful.

I'm already choosing to change. At this rate, there's no question I'll achieve the age-appropriate independence I seek. But it's taking so, so long. It was coming along smoothly and swiftly until she died -- the only reason I made it to age 24 without achieving that independence was because I tried to go to college out of state when I wasn't ready and pretty much threw away two years by not being able to function in a different state, and I was pretty much a few months away from graduating when she died -- and now I'm still fixing shit, but it's slowed down to a crawl. I don't feel I have the physical or mental energy to make it go any faster, and it's frustrating, because with each passing moment that I'm not finished improving my life, I can't throw off the false illusion that I haven't made any progress at all, and if I could just permanently stop thinking things like that, that would probably be enough to speed things up a little.

I think you should be more confident of yourself - You're clearly smart, from what I've seen you writing here, and already knowledgeable about a lot of IT stuff. Maybe you don't realize how much more you know than most, and how ahead of the curve that puts you, even if you feel that you are behind the curve in other aspects.

It is your life and it does not last long, make something positive out of it.

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