The accuracy and effectiveness of butt wiping increases with age. amirite?

And then it slowly gets worse

I think the problem lies with people who tell people to wipe, where in fact one should dab.

A debate I've had many times, and would be willing to engage in again.

I'll gobble up that little nut sack of yours

I tend to just do handstands in the shower, or use a pressure washer when I'm in a hurry.