Buying something is effectively stealing followed immediately by bribing the owner of the stolen goods not to report you for it. amirite?

It would only be stealijg if you didn't have the owners permission to be inside the premise and maintain possession of certain properties within certain boundaries inside that premise. It's implied consent.

nah not really but way to think outside the box haha

Back when I worked retail a person wasn't getting a deal they wanted and busted out "The customer is always RIGHT!"

My reply was "You are a shopper until you complete the transaction. Then you are a customer".

I don't miss working retail.