People want you to be honest, but when you really speak your mind 95% of them can't handle it easily, amirite?

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vcsandfecess avatar Money & Economics
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People want the truth but nobody really wants the truth. Because objective truth is you, the individual may not be as great of a person that you think you are. You may not be as successful as you Think You Are and you may not be as capable as you think you are..

People want to believe that they themselves are the exception, not the rule.

Boknows12s avatar Boknows12 Yeah You Are +8Reply

Most people only want to listen to the kind of truth that they want to listen to, and/or convenient to them.

jodzdzownicas avatar jodzdzownica Yeah You Are +8Reply

In my experience it's the complete opposite, people like honesty, and are open to honesty, just not assholes, and most being who think their honesty isn't well taken ever, are generally just assholes.

I've found you can speak the truth most of the times, depending on how you word it.

Although sometimes it's better to say nothing.

Vic8760s avatar Vic8760 Yeah You Are +6Reply
@vcsandfeces Anyone can speak the truth. But not without consequences

True, but even then, accept the consequences and deal with them. And again, sometimes it's better to say nothing.

Honest to a fault, but just accept it. The truth will be easier than a lie, in the end. Silence is even easier.

The caveat is that you gotta know when to say nothing and how to bring across the truth of the matter. Ofcourse, it depends on the situation. I ain't gonna tell a shady crackhead I got a 50 in my pocket.

Tldfonats avatar Tldfonat Yeah You Are +9Reply

I'm not saying this applies to you OP but sometimes you see people on reality tv shows who are proud of the fact that they speak their mind when really they're dumb and obnoxious.

Be honest in a way that's kind or helpful, generally speaking.

If someone asks you, 'do you think I'm physically unnattractive?' and you do, I don't think there's any virtue in telling them (unless maybe they're hitting on you in a pushy way or something). You can be diplomatic.

That's because most people who "speak their mind" don't understand the difference between being honest and being blunt and usually aren't very tactful.

When people say they want the truth, what they really want is for you to agree with them even more to assure them that they are right. As someone who is neurodivergent, when I say I want the truth I actually want the truth, but so many times people have asked me for my truthful opinion and then gotten mad no matter how gently I gave my opinion. It's a rare occasion when people actually want you to tell the truth without caring if your opinion aligns with theirs

Cheytuflyas avatar Cheytuflya Yeah You Are +5Reply

Nah i'd rather the truth even if it hurts. That's just me though.

Larny2019s avatar Larny2019 Yeah You Are +5Reply

When a manager asks my opinion about anything service-related, I always answer "do you really want to have this conversation?"

They always say yes, they always regret.

Tldfonats avatar Tldfonat Yeah You Are +5Reply

There's a difference between constructive criticism and judgements. Once you figure out how to express yourself honestly and constructively then "95%" of the people won't get upset. It's a fine line.

@SnooStories There's a difference between constructive criticism and judgements. Once you figure out how to express yourself...

Yep. A big part of my job is giving people feedback and criticism regarding their work. And it has to be honest or they won't improve which will create headaches for them and me later. I've very rarely had bad reactions. It's true that some folks are hypersensitive, but most people can accept honest criticism when it is delivered respectfully and with honorable intentions. It should also be delivered privately whenever possible to spare them embarrassment.

It takes some skill but it's really not that hard to be honest and polite at the same time.

95% huh? Here's another fun fact. 73% of statistics are made up on the spot.

Mrtechnohawks avatar Mrtechnohawk Yeah You Are +4Reply

If 95% of people you're being honest with "can't handle it" then you're probably a jackass. I get your overall point and you're probably exaggerating, but what kind of "honest" things are you saying to people that 95% of the time it pisses them off?

Just don't use honesty as excuse.

"I'm gonna let you speak but I think you don't deserve this win. I am better than you. I'm just being honest."

It's a difficult balance to strike. It's true that people can react negatively if you challenge their beliefs. Empathy is key. If you can validate their feelings without making concessions on what the truth is, sometimes you can get past it.

dankXDs avatar dankXD Yeah You Are +4Reply

It takes a lot of skill to maintain your integrity and still be successful.

Most people just lie.

As an autistic person, can sadly confirm.

I think it depends on not only their own sensitivity but your tone when you say it. You can be completely honest but say it in a way that doesn't hurt their feelings. For example, I've seen better results from people rescuing dogs when they approach the owner like, "I see you have five dogs out here. They look hungry, can I feed them? This one looks like they're sick. Will you let me take them to the vet and get them neutered and vaccinated? Sometimes we just need a little help taking care of so many pets. It's nothing to be ashamed of. We have foster families for them, and we'll update you on their progress. We know you love them and want what's best for them"

"There's being right and there's being nice"

-Seymour Skinner

Honesty does not equate to asshole 99% of the time

"That dress makes your ass look fat" vs "That's cute but what about this one?"

You're mistaking "honesty" for lazy and inconsiderate.

Belief: honesty is binary

Reality: honesty is a sliding scale

" I just tell it like it is, it's EVERYONE ELSE who is the problem!"

Sure thing Cletus.

lazar94s avatar lazar94 Yeah You Are +3Reply

There's a distinction between being honest, being blunt, and being rude. You're the one who has to decide when the right moment is to be honest. That's not to say you should lie instead, but hold your tongue when necessary. And there's a distinction between being honest to others, and being honest to yourself. We gain all these skills through experience and wisdom, at least, I hope we do.

Exactly you're either mean, a bigot, racist, homophobe, rude, and endless other possibilities

I'd I spoke my mind I would be arrested/banned/ cancelled for hate speech, threats of violence, and whatnot.

But as mother always said. "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all!"

Mcgee0s avatar Mcgee0 Yeah You Are +3Reply

Most people want you to speak your mind because they expect to hear something they approve of or like. But even if you're the nicest and most polite human on the planet, sometimes you have to tell someone they're being a cunt. And they need to be able to hear that and not instantly assume you're jealous of them for whatever reason. Which is what a lot of people under 30 seem to do these days.

I find it is more people telling the truth are not the best at telling their truth- and having the follow up conversation.

synthsexuals avatar synthsexual Yeah You Are +2Reply

When I was a bartender, I would have to "Cut-off" people who had had too much. Not a single person ever took it well.

@Kionix When I was a bartender, I would have to "Cut-off" people who had had too much. Not a single person ever took it well.

I think a lot of people live in a delusion world where they are the main character. So many seem to forget that we all share this space and there's rules we should abide by, even if it means no more poison for tonight. Stay humble and remember constructive criticism is worth more than hollow compliments.

Mrtechnohawks avatar Mrtechnohawk Yeah You Are +7Reply

Everybody likes honesty. No one likes a person who is rude and without tact.

@vcsandfeces What if the person is rude and honest at the same time?

Problem is you can say something with the perfect tone and candidness, but if the other person doesn't like it, then you are considered rude and they end up offended. I just say things matter-of-factly. If the truth pisses them off, is what it is.

Openeyess avatar Openeyes Yeah You Are +7Reply
@vcsandfeces What if the person is rude and honest at the same time?

If the honest thing you want to say is negative, it should only be brought up if it's actually necessary. Then you need to make sure to bring it up nicely and discreetly. If they're still offended then they weren't ready to hear it.

For example, if you work with someone and see them making a dangerous mistake, pointing it out to them quietly isn't rude. If you see a random fat person eating a huge meal in public though, pointing out that their eating habits are unhealthy is rude no matter how you say it.

@vcsandfeces What if the person is rude and honest at the same time?

That's called a lack of tact, i.e. douchebaggery

Mcgee0s avatar Mcgee0 Yeah You Are +4Reply
@Mcgee0 That's called a lack of tact, i.e. douchebaggery

I don't wanna sugarcoat the truths. It feels like an insult to people by assuming they won't be able to handle direct truth

@vcsandfeces What if the person is rude and honest at the same time?

Then he is being rude...

Honesty doesn't change that.

freq432s avatar freq432 Yeah You Are +3Reply
@capamericasur Everybody likes honesty. No one likes a person who is rude and without tact.

I disagree. Many, if not most, people cannot handle honesty no matter how politely or tactfully it is delivered.

They want you to be honest but they don't believe you when you are

NerdBoy628s avatar NerdBoy628 Yeah You Are +1Reply
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