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talking about your problems doesn't help at all, amirite?

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dankXDs avatar Money & Economics
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In my experience it depends upon your reason for talking. Are you looking for advice? Then frame it that way. Are you looking for support? Then frame it that way.

Basically ask for what you want. If you are just doing it for the sake of it, you are right. All you are doing is annoying you and your friends.

It doesn't solve the actual issue but it is necessary for most people to help find strength. When your going through something that's bringing you turmoil simply having someone acknowledge that what your going through is hard and your not alone can be enormous help in an emotional sense.

@Suspiciousauthor It doesn't solve the actual issue but it is necessary for most people to help find strength. When your going...

You need someone to agree that the hard thing is hard? Even though you already know that it's hard?

I just don't understand. Feels like attention-seeking behavior from codependent people who never learned how to self-soothe. I know that's callous but it seems that way to me.

Like milking your misfortune so people will baby you and you can feel special.

I dunno.

@dankXD You need someone to agree that the hard thing is hard? Even though you already know that it's hard? I just don't...

Are people forgetting that humans are by nature social creatures? We actually require human connection to stay healthy and sane. Needing to express your problems with a loved one in a healthy manner is not the same as painting yourself as a victim or being co-dependent, expressing feelings is how people connect.

Shiny244s avatar Shiny244 Yeah You Are +6Reply
@Shiny244 Are people forgetting that humans are by nature social creatures? We actually require human connection to stay...

I agree we're social creatures. The presence of others is helpful in rough times. But stating that i am sad out loud has never helped me or provided any kind of relief?

I'm just not understanding what's supposed to happen.

"I am sad."

"That is bad."

"Yes."

And....? Then what? Relief??? From what?

I'm still sad.

Ummmm therapist here, Hi. Define help. Talking about certain problems isnt necessarily supposed to miraculously make you happy or feel better after one conversation. I mean it can happen but not generally. However talking about problems is supposed to give perspective but that only happens in an actual conversation soooo if you have spoken about your problems and only gotten placated, that isnt a conversation and i understand how frustrating that is. I definitely hear frustration and even more than a little anxiety in what you wrote (im not diagnosing you)
Im here if you do wanna have an actual conversation.

Shusszs avatar Shussz Yeah You Are +5Reply

You're talking to the wrong people then.

Now are you referring to professional therapists, friends/family?

I believe it does help to express your feelings, let them out and have somebody validate them. Then at least it's like you're not a giant balloon filled with garbage.

It definitely helps. Ever heard of talk therapy? It's literally scientifically proven that talking to someone about your problems makes it better.

Tldfonats avatar Tldfonat Yeah You Are +3Reply
@Tldfonat It definitely helps. Ever heard of talk therapy? It's literally scientifically proven that talking to someone...

I had a therapist who would just sit there and wait for me to fill the 45 minutes with words. Most unhelpful thing I've ever spent money on. I can't believe people go to school to learn how to sit in a chair and do nothing.

I ditched that guy.

@dankXD I had a therapist who would just sit there and wait for me to fill the 45 minutes with words. Most unhelpful thing...

I'm a behavioral therapist. I definitely don't sit in a chair doing nothing. I had to climb a 10 foot fence today to prevent a child from jumping it and running onto the free way and getting killed by a car.

Then I had to run to go help a suicidal 12 year old who was trying to kill himself at school.

Then I went and met with a child who threaten to bring a gun and shoot up the school.

But cool take on therapist who dedicate their life to helping others. Hope that outlook gets you somewhere in life.

Tanmoykayesens avatar Tanmoykayesen Yeah You Are +5Reply
@Tanmoykayesen I'm a behavioral therapist. I definitely don't sit in a chair doing nothing. I had to climb a 10 foot fence today...

End of a long day and no articulation skills left, so Idk how to say this without it sounding sarcastic, but in complete sincerity: thanks for doing all that! Sounds difficult and draining, to put it mildly.

@Tanmoykayesen I'm a behavioral therapist. I definitely don't sit in a chair doing nothing. I had to climb a 10 foot fence today...

Literally not the same thing whatsoever.

I just said I paid somebody to sit in a chair silently. That's not leaping fences is it? So how could I possibly be offending you? I'm not talking about you.

Weird thing to project about.

Growth on your personal issues can only happen if you mentally adress them. Some people will ignore their issues until they have a safe space to talk about them. But yes you can heal without broadcasting your problems

It helps to know that you're not just incapable of dealing with your problem because you can't see it with a fresh perspective. You're often missing something and you often won't accept the solution, coz you're too set in your ways. It helps to talk, but you often will have people who just affirm your feelings with a "there there" or they'll lecture you in a way you don't wanna hear. It's still useful to talk. It just has to be to the right person.

We all have blind spots. People sometimes get upset when I offer advice rather than just listening, so I see where you are coming from

Pheniz21s avatar Pheniz21 Yeah You Are +2Reply
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