No you got it right, it's just not a contradiction. If someone truly says that, and means it, they do feel better thinking about that person as gone; gone from their life, from their world, never to be seen again. It helps them separate from the pain they feel just knowing that person. That pain, the hatred they feel towards the person causing that pain, it's exhausting. So pretending they're dead and gone is just easier. Softer. But from this they can try to move on.
What do you mean? A person who dies is done with you. They do no longer exist.
I think what you're saying is that when people really die, they also might be missed by loved ones, and I agree. But that's the opposite direction of what we're talking about. People who are hurt by another would rather pretend that the abuser is dead, gone and no longer existing, than continue to live presently in the world where they are still alive and able to cause them pain. You're right that doesn't mean that all people who know someone who died hates them as an abuser.
Yeah, but I've seen plenty of people who hated someone until they died and then their hate was suddenly gone. They didn't instantly like them, but the fire certainly went out
Also, if they're dead they're done with you, but that doesn't mean you're done with them at all
Dunno what else to tell you man, you asked about the seemingly contradictory understanding of the phrase as it compares to real death, and I tried to make it make sense for you. Not looking to argue over it. Be well
My family went thru a very traumatic time several years ago. A daughter of the one who caused all the trauma posted that we were all 'dead to her'....like that really mattered to any of us. Never lost any sleep over her statement.
No, but unless the person was a literal murderer people tend to hate the dead less than the living, even if they sucked as living people. They'll give something nice to say at a funeral they never would have said otherwise
No you got it right, it's just not a contradiction. If someone truly says that, and means it, they do feel better thinking about that person as gone; gone from their life, from their world, never to be seen again. It helps them separate from the pain they feel just knowing that person. That pain, the hatred they feel towards the person causing that pain, it's exhausting. So pretending they're dead and gone is just easier. Softer. But from this they can try to move on.
True, but most people say "you're dead to me" like "I'm done with you" or "you no longer exist to me," which isn't at all how people respond to death
What do you mean? A person who dies is done with you. They do no longer exist.
I think what you're saying is that when people really die, they also might be missed by loved ones, and I agree. But that's the opposite direction of what we're talking about. People who are hurt by another would rather pretend that the abuser is dead, gone and no longer existing, than continue to live presently in the world where they are still alive and able to cause them pain. You're right that doesn't mean that all people who know someone who died hates them as an abuser.
Yeah, but I've seen plenty of people who hated someone until they died and then their hate was suddenly gone. They didn't instantly like them, but the fire certainly went out
Also, if they're dead they're done with you, but that doesn't mean you're done with them at all
Dunno what else to tell you man, you asked about the seemingly contradictory understanding of the phrase as it compares to real death, and I tried to make it make sense for you. Not looking to argue over it. Be well
My family went thru a very traumatic time several years ago. A daughter of the one who caused all the trauma posted that we were all 'dead to her'....like that really mattered to any of us. Never lost any sleep over her statement.
There's a lot of dead people I am happy are dead and gone. We're not talking about Grandma who made you cookies every visit.
No, but unless the person was a literal murderer people tend to hate the dead less than the living, even if they sucked as living people. They'll give something nice to say at a funeral they never would have said otherwise
Ya dead ta me, Derek. Ya more dead ta me than ya dead mudda. I'm just glad she never lived to see her son dressed up as a mermaid.