+21 Using a firm handshake is kind of cringey, amirite?

by bulah13 2 months ago

There is a happy medium in handshakes. That's the idea. A firm handshake isn't trying to crush the other person's hand. IMO it's way more off putting to shake hands with a limp fish than a stronger grip.

by AncientExtension 2 months ago

I totally agree. There really is a mid point.

by Sufficient-Can-98 2 months ago

A loose handshake lets me know I could defeat you in tribal combat

by Shanahanstevie 2 months ago

No, accept that the moment has passed, raise the knucks high, for the rebound fistbump. Look at their elbow for a high-five guy.

by Dull-Rich 2 months ago

That awkward exchange of one person going to fistbump and the other to high five. Remember, if that happens grab the fist and shout wonder twins power activate!

by Dull-Rich 2 months ago

The trick is to look at each other's elbows. You'll never miss, ever, if you keep your eyes on each other's elbows.

by Agile_Time_4973 2 months ago

It's this for sure.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Focus on the targets elbow for higher quality high fives btw

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Since I'm Native American this just might be true!

by Sufficient-Can-98 2 months ago

This. It always feels so weird to shake hands with someone who just kind of flops their wrist into your palm.

by Right_Ad_7401 2 months ago

Was it a wriggler?

by Dangerous-Ranger-268 2 months ago

I often have to loosen my handshake strength as I grip too strongly, but I'd never ever give a limp fish hand shake, it's the worst feeling when you do.

by WorldlinessOrnery539 2 months ago

Firm is just that, no crossing but having effort put into it.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Firm does not mean crushing. I'm not sure where people get this idea. Firm is... well firm lol it should just be a solidly structured hand, shaking a similar hand. You aren't squeezing the other persons hand so much as grasping it.

by Miserable-Gene7553 2 months ago

Agree 100%. When I shake the hand of someone who returns it with a "limp fish" shake, as you put it, I get the sense that, that person has very little interest in meeting you. It gives off a very off-putting and uneasy feeling to me. It's like saying they don't really feel like they have the time to waste on you. To me a quick, firm handshake (half second or so) says..."hey I'm genuinely glad to meet you.". I can't help but wonder if someone who feels as though a firm handshake is some kind of an attempt at a power play might be the type of person who may be easily intimidated by others. Perhaps someone with some self esteem or self confidence issues.

by Maximum-Ebb-4961 2 months ago

Agreed. Someone with a limp handshake tells me, "I don't want to do this, so this is all I'm going to give you."

by schultzzion 2 months ago

It can be also perceived as a confidence thing by some people. Looking them in the eyes with a decent grip.

by Distinct-Mousse 2 months ago

The strongest handshake I ever got was from a guy who wasn't even trying. He was a maintenance man for industrial filters and he just had a grip that could crack walnuts so a firm handshake was knuckles popping

by Brief_Elephant 2 months ago

I broke my finger at work, no insurance, got booted from urgent care, went back to work next day. A trucker shook my hand and he crushed it. Worse than the broken finger, knees buckled.

by Exciting-Shake284 2 months ago

People are also forgetting that this advice is usually in regards to business settings, not strangers on the street. Corporate level, white collar sees it as a judging competition. Blue collar sees it as respect and being firm in an agreement. Business has its own language and set of rules, these do not always apply to informal settings. Also, a limp handshake feels SO gross.

by roxanne24 2 months ago

Absolutely not. If you try crushing my hand , you've lost the deal. I'll go out of my way to screw you over.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

As a woman, I had really strong men shake my hand that it actually hurt. I would take jelly handshake over those any day!

by Anonymous 2 months ago

He was doing it wrong and is an asshole.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

It also depends. Different cultures handle it differently. Some do actually have quite a dead-fish handshake. Once you pick up on it being common within that culture, you begin to follow suit.. It's not meant to be a competition. It's just making a friendly physical connection with another person. Be nice.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

A firm handshake isn't the opposite of the limp fish. It's the one that says "I too, am part of this handshake, I'm happy to be here not merely waiting with disdain until you release me." Crushing someone's hand in a pathetic attempt to assert dominance is the opposite of the limp fish. It says "Rrrggnnn! Can't you see how much better I am cause I conquered you, my handshake opponent, as I do anyone else in handshake wars?!?!?!" Middle ground, people.

by dora66 2 months ago

I got one yesterday who limply just grabbed the fingers instead of inserting into the actual cusp of the hand, it was very disturbing

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Firm has nothing to do with grip strength. It's just a fully grasped hand and eye contact. That's it. If you can hold a 5lb weight, you can give a proper handshake.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

This. A first time meeting or deal making handshake is not about crushing the others hand. It should be more like shaking the hand of a statue. The hand crushing is reserved for your buddies when you want to have a pissing match.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

The hand crushing is reserved for your buddies when you want to have a pissing match. That's just dumb. Have an actual pissing match. Don't be a coward.

by dora66 2 months ago

I've encountered the jackasses that squeeze your hand and they come in all ages, shapes, and sizes. The funniest is the ones that try to do the "pull in" tactic. I just go with it and when I'm uncomfortably close I say "well hey there fella". They relent pretty quick.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Just give them a quick kiss on the cheek.

by derrick92 2 months ago

Why? Cringe or cringey just describes something that makes you cringe or want to cringe

by Shintz 2 months ago

Use a different word already. The little kids "cringing" at everything is so pathetic and annoying to read. It just makes me think the person is a little kid that needs to grow up and cant be taken seriously

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Because I just don't like the vibe of cringey. It gives me the ick, and I just want to skibiti toilet. Yeah, I know I probably jumped a generation or so in there. But I think you feel me.

by Mean_Date 2 months ago

Yeah it's tough. "One should impress through actions." Is a handshake not an action?

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I was taught that a firm handshake would have the grip strength that you would use if you were helping someone. Like, if they fell over and you took each other's hands to help them up. It isn't about trying to crush their hand. Weirdly, I'm kinda with the boomers that a handshake CAN tell you a bit about a person. For example, if they give me the death grip I can probably assume they are a jackass.

by Rolfsonzachery 2 months ago

Exactly this. I was taught to harden my hand, not squeeze theirs. They would struggle to pull their hand out, but I'm barely applying any pressure during the shake.

by Motor_Yesterday 2 months ago

Context though, is it flimsy because they're awkward or because they're disinterested?

by Anonymous 2 months ago

100%

by Anonymous 2 months ago

These are things that go through my head when I get a limp handshake, and it can derail the interaction imo

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Is not adhering to handshake etiquette, a guarantee that you won't make an effort to do anything else properly?

by Impressive_Chard621 2 months ago

Not necessarily. But there are 1000 other people out there they could work with. Why take a chance on the person who seems to be giving zero effort when you could go with literally anyone else?

by Anonymous 2 months ago

That's fair, if you need to be really picky, you'll scrutinize every detail. Even if it's not necessarily true (which I'm glad you mentioned), you at least did your due diligence to the established standard. Or is it "due process"? I can never seem to get that down. But that being said, would it matter if it was, say, a casual meetup?

by Impressive_Chard621 2 months ago

would it matter if it was, say, a casual meetup? Depends. If it was drinks outside of work but still functionally a work-related gig then probably. Any setting, regardless how casual, that is also "professional" means I'm extending my hand to anyone I'm being introduced to for the first time. If they leave me hanging, give me a limp brush off, etc I'm still going to read it as rude despite the casual setting. If it's just friends hanging out somewhere then no.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

a limp handshake is gross.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Yeah, it gives me the same visceral reaction as if someone had handed me something slimy. Like why would you put the sensation on the inside of my hand like that?

by Simple-Walrus-8757 2 months ago

Almost as if you intended to shake another guys hand but for a split second you were actually just holding hands with a guy

by Anonymous 2 months ago

That's how culture works. There is an equivalent in any culture that has traditions and values honor and respect. The younger among us have been trained to find distain in anything of the sort, and the OP's sentiment fits the bill. If I shake your hand and get a damp noodle then I would describe that as cringe. Gen Z wants so badly to be counter culture like Gen X was but misses the Forest for the trees. They think have pride or culture is cringe...

by Anonymous 2 months ago

If you present a flimsy handshake to me, especially on first impression, I immediately think way less of you.

by eileenbartell 2 months ago

It's like a who can wear the nicest polo to the golf course instead of a who can actually golf. There's plenty of super successful & respected individuals who probably gave a floppy handshake. But that manager that makes you come in during a blizzard, that guys LEGIT cause he's got a nice shake.

by Aufderharmorris 2 months ago

It's like a who can wear the nicest polo to the golf course instead of a who can actually golf. A better example would be what someone wears to golf. T-shirt = floppy handshake, polo = firm handshake, suit = aggressive handshake. How someone reacts to an offer of a handshake says a lot about who they are.

by SmellNo3634 2 months ago

I will just think "Oh they're awkward" if they give a limp handshake If they seem like they're trying to hurt me with a handshake I'll think much less of them and put them in the "Overly macho/trying to prove something" box

by bednarlaverna 2 months ago

As a woman who is disabled and has spent many years getting the runaround from doctors before they finally perform tests and believe me: PLEASE BELIEVE WOMEN. You have no idea how debilitating and scary it is going to doctor's appointments knowing that you're going to be viewed with suspicion.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

A firm handshake is different from a squeezing handshake. A handshake should be firm but not strong. A soft hand isn't pleasurable but it shouldn't hurt either

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I think OP is mistaking a firm (medium) handshake for a squeezing one, but if comparing between a squeezing one and a limp one, isn't the squeezing one worse?

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Unoriginal and unpopular. If I had a limp fish award, it would be yours OP.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Well as long as it's unpopular right

by bulah13 2 months ago

Firm does not mean squeezing which is what I believe you're referring to. And as opposed to what, a flabby hand?

by Background-Ease 2 months ago

A dude violently shook my hand the other day, it didn't impress me, just made me think he's insane

by Opposite-Address-185 2 months ago

You know that a "firm" handshake and just painfully squeezing someone hand are separate concepts right? Also, using terms like "cringey" while also saying things like "one should not..." and other unnecessarily polite language, is very cringe, and reads like a 14 year old trying to be taken seriously by adults.

by Ok_Bill_8809 2 months ago

Not as cringey as a limp wristed one

by Anonymous 2 months ago

ok limp wrist

by Anonymous 2 months ago

My go to handshake is first licking my middle finger, and then sneaking it in to tickle their palms during the shake.

by Jayceekeebler 2 months ago

People with arthritis or other medical issues that cause their hands to be sore or sensitive definitely don't appreciate a "hearty" handshake. Grip firmly enough that you don't feel like a noodle, but don't in any way squeeze.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Hate the kung fu grip. It says something about that person.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Handshakes are dumb. Fistbump or bow is the way.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

A limp handshake is annoying tho. It honestly does make me think less of you, like you weren't raised with manners. That's a little harsh but that's how I feel

by OneRecording 2 months ago

A firm handshake is not the same as squeezing someone's hand. I prefer a steady firm hand than a spaghetti one

by Anonymous 2 months ago

First job interview at Maccas as a teenager, went to shake the managers hand, missed and grabbed/shook his thumb...

by Anonymous 2 months ago

A limp handshake makes me feel like you're lacking in confidence and possibly weird as hell Too firm of a handshake lets me feel like you're probably gonna go punch somebody in the face But just a quick grip and go? That's… hey wait a minute what are we talking about again?

by Admirable_Newt 2 months ago

"Firm" doesn't mean squeezing hard or crushing. It means stable. Squeezing isn't stable it's s increasing pressure, limp isn't stable it's floppy. Firm is stable.

by Hoegerrashad 2 months ago

You've mistaken "firm handshake" with "trying to crush your hand", the former is fine and if you've ever had to shake someone's hand where they just hold it out like a limp fish, you'd understand why a "firm" handshake is good. The people who try to crush your hand like it's a contest of strength are idiots though and should be mocked. I've definitely dealt with people who like to do the hand crushing approach, but they're not that hard to deal with if you know how to properly shake yourself. Keep your elbow right next to your hip while shaking and it's not hard at all to match what someone is throwing at you.

by luciedubuque 2 months ago

There's a difference between a firm handshake and an overly firm handshake.

by TechnicalExample 2 months ago

I tickle their palm with my middle finger to assert dominance.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

My reaction when I get a limp handshake

by Free-Trade 2 months ago

Large fella here. I feel like since I'm a big guy, a lot of people feel the need to overcompensate when shaking my hand. I usually do just like a happy medium. What I hate the most is when they grab my hand by just my fingertips and squeeze. When they do that I usually say something like "That was weird, let's try again" and then hold my hand out like a princess.

by Gutmannstacy 2 months ago

Not an unpopular opinion. Also "firm" and "death grip" are different.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Er ... "firm" does not mean "crushing".

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Nobody is saying that you're supposed to actually "squeeze" the other persons hand. Firm handshake means just that, your hand should be firm. It's almost impossible and uncomfortable to have this interaction when your hand is limp.

by Appropriate_Bank_232 2 months ago

Firm is the point to get across you're, well firm in the commitment to cooperate. Crushing handshake is bad. Limp is funny.

by Eloisekling 2 months ago

Firm is better than weak. If your hand feels like wet lettuce in mine and there's no eye contact I'll never trust or respect you above the absolute minimum.

by Hanename 2 months ago

Your perspective is whack af dude. No offense It demonstrates sincerity and respect as a man. Similar to eye contact and maintaining it

by Sweaty-Curve2338 2 months ago

All handshakes are cringey. I do not want to be socially pressured into physical contact with strangers because it's traditional. I wish Covid had killed off handshaking forever.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Same. I hate touching people, it makes my skin crawl and I need to wash my hands asap. Like maybe I'll shake your hand if it's job interview and that's it.

by Human-Fold-5613 2 months ago

Have you ever had a tepid weak reluctant handshake? They are absolutely disgusting.

by Exciting-Shake284 2 months ago

Since COVID, I have managed to get away with only fist-bumps. Please don't punch hard

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Big big difference between a firm handshake and an overpowering - and attempt to dominate - handshake

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Better than a clammy, wet noodle any day. Firm, but certainly not overwhelming.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Congratulations OP. You have an opinion that is entirely common throughout the middle east. You can get all the limp twisted handshakes you want through there. They consider it bad manners to use almost any force in a handshake.

by Roel04 2 months ago

I prefer a "firm" handshake to a "limp" one. Especially from men. What I can't stand is when someone "misses" and instead squeezes my fingers. Awkward af

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I think it's about matching the other persons firmness more than anything

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Try a limp one. U tell me what feels worse, feeling a mans hand like it was a limp limb or a firm shake like a secret hug that says u want to be best friends forever?

by Anonymous 2 months ago

A firm handshake just means you commit to clasping the other person's hand back instead of letting your hand lie there in their grasp. It is embarrassing to shake hands with someone who tries to make a friendly gesture of mutual recognition into a power game by putting the death grip on you, but that's not what normal people mean by a firm handshake.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I prefer a firm handshake, personally, so I would shake with a firm grip.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

It depends how firm the hand shake is if you have a weak sauce hand shake it will definitely negatively affect my impression of you so will a hand crusher ideally I should even notice anything in particular about your hand shake. The only take away i should be able to have is you know how to handshake

by IllustriousDiver 2 months ago

OP has a limp handshake. Okay. Next.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Op has a weak handshake

by Anonymous 2 months ago

A limp dick hand shake immediately makes me think the guy is a bitch. Moral of the story just give a normal firm handshake and look um in the eye. Don't over do it or under do it.

by Tomas89 2 months ago

Limp is just as creepy as squeezing

by rexernser 2 months ago

This says more about you than the person with a firm handshake

by Rogers39 2 months ago

A limp handshake just feels strange.

by SurroundNo 2 months ago

Caring about handshakes is kinda cringey.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

you can just have normal handshake, not like snogebob and not like you want to break person's hand

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I wish we could just retire the handshake. I don't know where the hand has been. It literally could have been in that persons ass 5 minutes before trying to touch my hand. Sometimes hands are wet with sweat. Sometimes they are cold, hot, frail and limp, sometimes the person tries to crush my hand like I'm a piece of paper. Can we please just retire the handshake!

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Should we be giving flimsy handshakes or way too hard squeezing handshakes? Since firm handshakes are now off the table I'm not sure what to do.

by Budget-Pirate 2 months ago

🙄 Are dry palms kind of cringey as well? 🙄

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Again with this????

by uriel38 2 months ago

I'm not fond of any sort of phyiscal contact on greeting. Unless someone is a good friend, I don't see any reason to touch.

by No_Ball_2796 2 months ago

I've worked with my hands all my life. I could probably crush bones if I tried. I find those super tight handshakes so funny. All it does is tell me how insecure the person is. Bodybuilders are the absolute worst for this.

by Commercial-Ice 2 months ago

On the other hand, I hate the opposite. Awkward, weak ass handshakes 🤢

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Yankin on that arm like he's trying to start a chainsaw

by bulah13 2 months ago

I like my handshake to nonverbally, but very directly, ask "do you even lift, bro?!?"

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Never trust a hand crusher

by Aggravating-Set 2 months ago

Well def an unpopular opinion, reminds me of the King of the hill episode when Hank shakes a presidential nominees hand.

by That-Sock8543 2 months ago

A firm handshake can also be a sign of excitement. Don't assume so much. You don't know.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

It's not the grip strength that matters. It's more a clutch and direct eye contact that matters.

by AlpsFit 2 months ago

everything about the business world is cringey because it's innately unnatural lol embracing the cringiness allows for businesspeople to feel like they're in a seperate world altogether

by Anonymous 2 months ago

not if you're a respectable adult

by Schustercoy 2 months ago

I had a guy squeeze my hand so hard once, one of my fingers dislocated. I popped it back in while making eye contact with him. Dominance established.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Thats why ive fully embraced the fistbump. Its inclusive, it can be a light tap, an its not a competition.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I givr the firmness back I get, I always expect some, some just give you their hand and dont sqeeze and it just feels like a stress toy

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Hank Hill would like a word

by Xhessel 2 months ago

I especially hate the long handshake. This Is where you try to disengage after a normal amount of time, but they hold on to your hand so you can't withdraw it. I've read books on leadership that encourage the long handshake and recommend that you never be the first to disengage. To me this seems creepy, manipulative, and controlling.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

yeah i agree, people who overdo the firmness on a handshake come across as really desperate and insecure. I get it guy, you're a hard, strong man. Why did you feel the need to demonstrate that to me?

by Particular-Event-278 2 months ago

Does anybody still shake hands after covid?

by OtherwiseScarcity220 2 months ago

Oh all the time… part of my job is interviewing people and meeting people all the time and I do so many handshakes

by wrohan 2 months ago

I like a firm handshake because it feels better than grabbing a limp noodle. That's all.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

that's not what firm means

by DependentRock 2 months ago

Firm, not "TEST YOUR MIGHT".

by Anonymous 2 months ago

A firm isn't a death squeeze, is going in with conviction and actually grasping the hand.

by wrohan 2 months ago

The opposite is just as true

by Carrie28 2 months ago

No no no. A firm handshake should be just tight enough you would have to pull to break the grip. Its should also be delicate enough to no bend the hand or fingers. Anything more than that and your not giving a "firm" handshake, your trying to crush the others hand and assert dominance. So you're an asshole. If you initiate the handshake and it's weak it doesn't look good. If you return it like that then you're either slimy and or don't value the person whom you're shaking hands with. A lot can be spoken through physical touch such as a handshake. Ive had giants shake my hand with the grace of a bird and drunk scrawny assholes try to crush my hand when i was 12 to, idk, impress my mom? Point is don't dismiss the value of a good handshake. Male or female. It can tell you a lot about a person character and how they feel about you.

by RemarkablePirate 2 months ago

Everyone in here saying how bad a limo handshake is but that's not what OP is saying. A firm hard handshake, a classic old school boys club vibe, is very cringy. But also is a limp handshake if it's not from a 90 year old.

by Rsteuber 2 months ago

Who shaking with a soft shake or not actually holding your hand (like only the fingeryips) are not trustworthy and their friendliness is only for their gain. I've experienced this a few times as a true fact.

by wisokykurtis 2 months ago

I just interviewed at a healthcare facility. Interviewer straight refused to shake hands. Took me on a tour of the facility and introduced me to several of the Nursing supervisors and caregiving staff. All of them gave the dead fish. Then she introduced me to the marketing manager, who happened to be in the building. That woman was the only person in the entire building to look me in the eye, and actually firmly shake my hand. I wasn't surprised. She's the marketing manager. Shaking hands is what she does. As I left, I gave the interviewer one last chance to shake hands before I left and she literally backed up a step and said "have a nice day!" She did not inspire confidence. Neither did any of the other limp dead fish handshakers.

by Angelogoyette 2 months ago

the act of seeking my validation bruh it's not that deep. limp handshakes just suck to receive because it shows the person is timid or simply uninterested, which is even worse.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

You aren't trying to break the other person's hand, you're trying to prohect strength by not having a weak hand shake. Firm doesn't mean over powering

by Other_Attempt 2 months ago

I'd really prefer no handshakes at all. I've always hated them regardless of how firm or loose it is; touching most people's hands at all is cringey.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

Had some prick crush my hand when meeting him at the gym. Insecure people do squeeze handshakes.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I think there's a FINE line between a firm handshake, and someone trying to make sure you know it's a firm handshake. Just enough pressure for the handshake to not feel flimsy is where you want it to be.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I hate when people jump the gun, squeeze too early and end up squeezing my fingers instead of waiting until our palms meet.

by Anonymous 2 months ago

I often think that the people who almost disintegrate your hand during a handshake are people who have angry pasts.

by Fit-Bad3019 2 months ago

Shaking hands is lame and pointless I don't want to other people

by Anonymous 2 months ago