Are you more good or bad? I’m struggling with this question so I’d like to think 50-50. But that probably makes me bad.
It's Amirite's 10th birthday!Read More
There's a boy named Carol. He's made fun of throughout high school because of his weird name, and so he's become very shy. But he has a crush on a girl and works up the courage to ask her out. She says yes, and he's so happy. After years of dating, he works up the courage to ask her to marry him. She says yes, and he's so happy. When their first child is born, a girl, he lets the wife name her, because he still feels so lucky and fortunate just to be with her. The wife names the baby "Love". Love grows up and now she starts to be made fun of because of her weird name. She comes home from school one day screaming at her dad, asking why he gave her such a stupid name. He takes blame, wanting to protect his wife, and apologizes. Love says he ruined her life. She shoots him and runs away. Finally the wife comes home, sees Carol lying on the ground, screams and runs to him. "Carol! What happened?!" He beckons her to come closer, and with his dying breath he whispers in her ear: "Shot through the heart. And you're to blame. Darling you gave Love a bad name."
This joke A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog named Mace. Mace had a bad habit of eating all the grass on the mechanic's lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace inside. The grass eventually became overgrown. One day the mechanic was working on a car in the backyard and dropped his wrench, losing it in the tall grass. He couldn't find it for the life of him, so he decided to call it a day. That night, Mace escaped from the house and ate all the grass in the backyard. The next morning the mechanic went outside and saw his wrench glinting in the sunlight. Realizing what had happened he looked toward the heavens and proclaimed, "A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound, that saved a wrench for me!
-7If you value money over Lives you are a sociopath. Sorry sicko, you earned it buddy! More
Who's cooler? Tomboys or TOMBOYS!! or girly girls (Boo) More
+6Hell is easy. All you have to do is look around and make already bad situations worse. But what does heaven look like?
+13Ok every day aches and pains suck. Though in my time on this planet I’ve decided the worst most common four things are: 1.Teeth. When teeth go bad.. that’s some serious nagging pain. 2. Hemorrhoids. Enough said. 3. Arthritis. Nasty stuff in every form. And back pain. Don’t realize just how much life can suck until you throw out your back.
+1Best crazy lines to use in bad situations, make up your own: 1. Right before a fight where it’s just the two of you. “Ok there’s twelve of me and only one of you. I think we’ve got this.” 2. When a pan handler is aggressively begging you for money. Whisper real loudly while looking around..”Shh! Quiet! Holy Shit! You can actually see me?!!!”