+638Dreams are nothing more than a subconscious pit that we dump our insanity into so we can wake up ready to eat cereal instead of the neighbor's children. amirite?
+511People should stop baking things with love. Eventually, some greedy bastard scientist over at Coca-Cola will figure out love's formula, chemically reproduce it, and then get starving Chinese children to do nonstop manual labor in Coke's factories, producing the most amount of LOVE#57 for the least cost as Coke's CEO sits on a pile of coins, smoking a cigar, laughing maniacally as he rolls it in. So next time someone asks you what's in the cookies, just say, "Fuck you, that's what." Amirite?
+1,438Child by themselves begins crying Woman: Don't cry, it's okay. Let's go find your parents.*takes child's hand and walks away" Everyone: "Aww, what a nice person! Everyone should be more like her." Man: "Don't cr-" Everyone: "PEDOPHILE! PEDOPHILE! CALL 911! THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" amirite?
+649Grape flavored medicine doesn't taste like grape at all. It tastes like tears & the death of small children. amirite?
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+1,295The perfect TLC show: Obese midgets with an obscene amount of kids, who force their children to compete in beauty pageants. They also bake cake in their spare time. Amirite?
+876The sound of children laughing makes you happy... unless you're all alone in an abandoned hospital and your flashlight isn't working properly, amirite?
+643Santa has run out of coal this year, so all the naughty children will be receiving Nickelback albums, amirite?
+640Good thing we don't use children's song logic in other aspects of life. "We believe you're the one who murdered that family. We have DNA evidence, 17 credible eye witnesses placing you at the scene of the crime when it happened and a high definition video of you committing it!" "Who, me?" "Yes you!" "Couldn't be!" "Damn, looks like we got the wrong guy again. Sorry for bothering you", amirite?
+2,165It would be awkward if two pedophiles were acting like children online, and they agreed to meet up, amirite?
+1,800Women hate being treated different than men, until there's a hostage situation and woman and children are let go first, amirite?