+3,046The elderly should be sent to jail, and criminals to nursing homes. The eldery would have free hot food, snacks, free legal care, medical and health, security and safety, free clothing, access to pools, counseling and education, family visits, and care. The criminals would have cold food, left alone in a tiny room, limited showers and pay $5000 a month for the torture. amirite?
+588If you’re a “nice guy” to a girl up until you realize she doesn’t want to date you, then go on about how she’s a cold shrew that friendzoned you and how no girls date nice guys, sorry but girls do date nice guys. You just aren’t a nice guy. You’re a passive aggressive beta with internalized misogyny and a serious victim complex, amirite?
+978"Aren't you cold?" is often just a nice way of saying "you are dressed like a prostitute", amirite?
+596Place the elderly in prisons. They will get a shower a day, video surveillance in case of problems, medications, hours of private time, three meals a day, access to a library, medical and dental care, computer, TV, gym ... Put criminals in nursing homes. They have cold meals, lights off at 9 p.m., one bath a week, have no private time, live in a smaller room, and pay 2,000+ a month, amirite?
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+494When you have a cold drink with ice and you put some in you're mouth, people ask "What're you eating?" and you're like "ice kooob", amirite?
+375It must suck to be searched for drugs by the cops while you have a cold. "Do you have any narcotics in your possession?" "Dope." ... Shit, amirite?
+494Two Eskimos were in their kayak one day, when they felt cold so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank. This goes to prove that you can't have your kayak and heat it too, amirite?
+208Try our new antidepressent! Side effects may include nausea, vomiting, lightheadedness, fainting, drowsiness, loss of limbs, inability to reproduce, heart attacks, migraines, hair loss, frostbite, bubonic plague, BO, bieber fever, the common cold, blisters, hip dislocation, cardiac arrest, and in some extreme cases, death. But hey, you won't be depressed anymore, amirite?
+474Your eyes are strained, you neck hurts, your fingers are stiff, your back is killin ya, you are cold, your head is hurting, you have not eaten, your butt cheeks are sore and you could have sworn your brain just shorted out. But just one more page, amirite?
+478There are songs for when it's hot and for when it's cold, but I think it's time to write one for when the weather's just nice. "The weather outside is fine, and the sun is just divine. Not too cold, not too warm, still a jacket is worn, 'cause the wind whistles through the pines." It's a good start, amirite?