+1,750I failed my Health and Safety class test today. Apparently, when they ask you, "In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?" "Fuckin' large ones" is not the correct answer. amirite?
+3,046The elderly should be sent to jail, and criminals to nursing homes. The eldery would have free hot food, snacks, free legal care, medical and health, security and safety, free clothing, access to pools, counseling and education, family visits, and care. The criminals would have cold food, left alone in a tiny room, limited showers and pay $5000 a month for the torture. amirite?
+776See that pregnant teen over there? She was raped. See that guy doing his homework from last night? He convinced his friend out of suicide. See that man with the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that guy who is sobbing? His mother is dying. See that show-off guy? He's standing up to bullies. See that fat woman? She has a health problem. Don't judge people if you don't know their life. ... amirite?
+420Have you noticed how people's priorities are all wrong when it comes to health? 'Ooh, there's a hair in my food.' You're eating bacon- there's a pig's ass in your food. amirite?
+1,148If you have food,clothes and a house you are richer than 75% of the world.If you have $10 you are part of the 8% of the world's wealthy.If you woke up with more health than sickness you are more blessed than the millions who will die this week.If you haven't experienced a war,you are luckier than the 500 million suffering. If you read this,you are more fortunate than the 3 billion who can't rea... amirite?
+730High school health classes can be summed up in 5 minutes on the first day. "Hello class. Let's just get this out of the way. If it tastes good stop eating it, if it feels good stop doing it. Spend at least 27 hours a day exercising. Have a nice day.", amirite?
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+351When you think about it, Grandpa Joe from Willy Wonka is kind of an ass. As soon as he gets the opportunity to tour the factory, he's all of the sudden the picture of health. He was just lazing around in bed all these years, when he could have been working to help his poor family afford food, amirite?
+176I like big butts and I cannot lie, but is there some evolutionary reason as to why? When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get vital evolutionary information that acts as a fairly accurate indicator of overall health, amirite?
+389The best way to use 3 wishes if you can't wish for more wishes: 1. Eternal happiness and good health. 2. Unlimited money. And 3. True love, amirite?
+364It's funny how Republicans are pro life, but are also for everything that will end it; i.e. pro gun, pro war, for the death penality, and also against the health care reform, amirite?
+400I get how those educational health class videos try to be culturally correct and feature all different types of people, but a handicapped Muslim Chinese-Mexican boy in a wheel chair, and a mentally disabled lesbian Jewish Polish girl trying to teach me about food safety is going a bit overboard, amirite?
+248It's weird that Camel's slogan is "Break Free." What the Hell are they helping you break free from? Health and prosperity? amirite?
+468In movies it's always romantic when someone gets hurt. Either the girl sprains her ankle and has to be carried by the guy or the guy gets wounded in some way and gets nursed back to health by the girl. While in reality it's just like "DON'T TOUCH ME! I'm in PAIN! I'll wait for the physician thank you very much. Ow! Ow! Ow!" amirite?