+17If you bring a child into your home to live, you should treat him or her as though they are your own child.
Family or Musical Records? A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. “Do you have Eyes of Blue and A Love Supreme ?” she asked. “Well, no,” answered the puzzled homeowner. “But I have a wife and eleven children.” “Is that a record?” she inquired. “I don’t think so,” replied the man, “but it’s as close as I want to get.” Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html
Where's the Baby? For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?” Tommy burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mommy ate it!” Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html
Not the Student's Fault ? Mrs. Filmore returned home from a business trip and asked her husband, “How did Greg do on his history exam?” “Oh, not so good,” he replied. “But it wasn’t his fault. They asked him about things that happened before he was born!” Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html
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No longer a child? Murphy said to his daughter, “I want you home by eleven o'clock.” She said, “But Father, I'm no longer a child!” He said, “I know, that’s why I want you home by eleven.” Link: https://www.free-funny-jokes.com/funny-parent-jokes.html
An Incredible Dog? A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog. “I've led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.” The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?” The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!” Link: http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/clean-jokes/23
Oversleeping The new family in the neighborhood overslept and their six-year-old daughter missed her school bus. The father, though late for work himself, had to drive her. Since he did not know the way, he said that she would have to direct him to the school. They rode several blocks before she told him to turn the first time, several more before she indicated another turn. This went on for 20 minutes – but when they finally reached the school, it proved to be only a short distance from their home. The father, much annoyed, asked his daughter why she’d led him around in such a circle. The child explained, “That’s the way the school bus goes, Daddy. It’s the only way I know.” Link: http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/teachersjokes/missedthebusjoke.html
0Suicide Hotlines around the globe. OUTSIDE of the USA, please visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention online which provides a database of resources around the world. For Suicide Prevention Hotlines within the USA, please call 1-800-273-8255 (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) or text HELLO to 741-741 for free 24-hour support from the Crisis Text Line. Please pass this information on to people at risk - if you need clarification, I'll help you with that definition. More