+843You were born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning you break your legs, and every afternoon you break your arms. At night, you lie awake in agony until your heart attacks put you to sleep, amirite?
+575It's funny how animals respond to the tone of words and not the words themselves. If you screamed "GET OVER HERE FLUFFY I LOVE YOU" at it, it would run away and hide, but if you sweetly and softly tell it to "Come here so I can break your legs and put you in a stew", it'll probably walk right over, amirite?
+510Girls: If a guy wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs, send him to KFC. You're a lady, not a cheap value meal. amirite?
+524Someone should invent a machine that makes you run. It could change speeds, make you burn calories, be an affordable way to exercise, and take up little to no space in your home. And they could be called "legs", amirite?
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+620Old women in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs don't fool me... I know they're retired mermaids, amirite?
+743"Feel my legs. I just shaved :)" Ok, I'll do that, but first you have to kiss me, because I just shaved, amirite?
+290"People have two ears and only one mouth, I guess that means we should listen more and talk less." Hmm.. People have two legs and one brain, I guess that means they should think less and fuck off. amirite?
+899You know you're in a group with good friends, when you're all squished on a couch, everyone has their legs touching, and everyone's arms are around whoever they're sitting next to, and someone is laying on everyone's lap just for the heck of it. amirite?
+218You feel offended when after getting your eyebrows done, shaving your legs, doing your hair, painting your nails and just generally looking as cute as can be none of your friends compliment you because since you're a guy it's "weird", amirite?
+556“I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.”, amirite?