+2,982Two men walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have some H2O." The second one says, "I'll have some H2O too." Then he dies, amirite?
+2,724The real reason many gay men choose to stay in the closet so long is because they have to find the perfect outfit to come out in, amirite?
+2,674It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. Women blink 2x as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand. The woman has read this entire text. The man is still looking at his thumb, amirite?
+2,586500 years ago when men went to war it was common for them to force their wives to wear chastity belts while they were away. Therefore, in the meantime, only a locksmith could remove these belts. This probably explains why 'Smith' is the most common name in the phonebook. amirite?
+2,543Have you ever noticed that all bad things for women have the word men in there somewhere... MENstral cycles, MENtal anxiety, MENtal breakdowns, MENopause, amirite?
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+2,141Even the most 'manly' of men go soft and feminine when puppies and kittens are involved, amirite?
+1,800Women hate being treated different than men, until there's a hostage situation and woman and children are let go first, amirite?
+1,397They need to make a birth control for men. It makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bulletproof vest, amirite?
+1,350When it comes to food, we've been teaching our kids that it's fine to eat things such as Gingerbread Men, Animal Crackers and Gummy Bears. Surely they'd grow up with more morals if we gave them something like Jelly Jailmates? 'Hey Timmy, what're you up to?' "Just biting the head off a convicted criminal, Dad!" 'Attaboy!' amirite?
+1,279if women came with instructions, nothing would change. Men don't read the instructions anyway . amirite?