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Ready for a Good Laugh ? Church Bulletins Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins. Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early. Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor. Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come foreward and lay an egg on the alter. The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come foreward and do so. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. Link: http://www.ahajokes.com/ads06.html More
Image for post Ready for a Good Laugh ?    Church Bulletins  Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins.  ***    Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.  *   Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.  *   Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.  *   For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.  *   The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.  *   This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.  *   Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.  *   Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.  *   Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.  *   This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come foreward and lay an egg on the alter.  *   The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.  *   Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come foreward and do so.  *   The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.  *   A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.  *   At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.  ***    Link: http://www.ahajokes.com/ads06.html
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did you know the idea that god is omniscient, omnipotent, omnibenevolent, omnitemporal, and omnipresent wasnt a wide spread belief until it was popularized in the writings of philosophers such as augustine and aquinas, nor is has the idea been blatantly expressed in biblical text? do you think god is truly an omni god? if that is the case there is a lot of conflict with the ideas presented. common paradoxes include. can god create a rock so large he can not lift it? if not then he can not create a rock that big or if so he can not lift it either way that would mean he is not omnipotent. can god sin? if so then he is not omnibenevolent if not he is not omnipotent. can people really have free will if god is omniscient? for instance if god know an event is going to happen and you could chose to not allow the event to happen then god wouldnt be omniscient if you chose anything other than what he expected to happen. do prayers even matter if god is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnibenevolent in other words can there be a personal god? if god know what is best and has the power to control all things and he know all things then it follows that he has already decided what is the best course of action. so if you pray to god for any favor he already has a plan if he follows it then your request was pointless, however if he were to grant such a request then it wouldnt be an act of omnibenevolence since any idea you have that doesnt match his own is not the best choice. if god is omnipresent and omnitemporal wouldnt that imply that he doesnt have the ability to travel through time or space as he already exists everywhere at all times and is therefore not omnipotent? the list goes on and on but i think you get the point. as tomas aquinas puts it when ever we talk about god we never say the truth we say approximations because such a being is beyond comprehension so we speak of it in parables to get a general understanding. so perhaps a better way to describe god would be someone far superior to us but not quite infinitely so a superman if you will. perhaps that alot more believable than a perfect being of infinite contradictions? either way it doesnt really matter to an atheist like me i just think that people of faith who worship a powerful monotheistic god would have an easier time defending the idea than they do of the current model represented. More
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