+3,636It's funny how most music today is about how much the guy wants to hook up with you, when all the Beatles wanted to do was hold your hand, amirite?
+2,282You know how awkward it would be to have braille shirts for blind people? "Oh, you're wearing an aeropostale today? What's this lump on your sh-- ... oh... oh, gosh. I'm sorry" amirite?
+2,183The Boy Who Cried Wolf...that title is out of date...Today, it's The Man Who Cried Rapture. Amirite?
+1,929The best kind of Tourette's Syndrome is when you randomly say polite things; "Hey do you know what time it...YOU LOOK VERY PRETTY TODAY!" amirite?
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+1,909If homosexuality is a disease, then we should all call in gay to work. "Nope, sorry, can't come in today- still queer", amirite?
+1,750I failed my Health and Safety class test today. Apparently, when they ask you, "In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?" "Fuckin' large ones" is not the correct answer. amirite?
+1,739It's really weird to think that in a couple of years, you might not remember today at all, amirite?
+1,497If only the Indians had given the Pilgrims donkey on Thanksgiving. We'd all be getting some ass today, amirite?
+1,358If Dr. Seuss Was Actually a Doctor: Dr. Seuss: I do not like this brownish spot. I do not like this dark black dot. I do not like this odd-shaped mole. I do not like this porous hole. I'd wear more sunblock here and there. I'd wear more sunblock everywhere. It looks as though, I'm sad to say, that you have cancer, here today. Patient: Are you...high? amirite?