0Evidently Russian women are getting picky. I just got this email: Greetings! It's interesting to get to know you. You looking so beautiful. I'm looking for a good man with serious intentions for a new relationship, i don't need flirt. My goal to meet a serious man for a joint purpose in life. The name that I have is Norma Howard, I am 36 y.o. I have no children and not married. What age are you? If you're younger than me, you can respond to this message. I am from Russia, i hope to get to know each other better will not be a big problem. If our goals are different, please ignore this message. I hope that our goals are the same and you are looking for a woman, and we will continue our pleasant communication. With good and serious intentions, Norma Howard.
-1Spoon, or Knife and Fork ? A vacuum salesman appeared at the door of an old lady's cottage and, without allowing the woman to speak, rushed into the living room and threw a large bag of dirt all over her clean carpet. He said, "If this new vacuum doesn't pick up every bit of dirt then I'll eat all the dirt." The woman, who by this time was losing her patience, said, "Sir, if I had enough money to buy that thing, I would have paid my electricity bill before they cut it off. Now, what would you prefer, a spoon or a knife and fork?" Link: http://jokes4all.net/car-jokes?p=29
I have been the other woman in so far a 10 year relationship. I was 22 then, I'm 32 now. He keeps saying he is getting a divorce "after the holiday", but there is always another holiday around the corner. I love him and he loves me. Am I being stupid? Can anyone relate? Am I wasting my romantic life? What should I do? More
Justice on Trial ? A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial, a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him." At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!" Link: http://jokes4all.net/cheating-jokes?p=10
Al Franken-grabber Strikes Again More
If you are an attractive woman, and you and your family were about to become back alley homeless and you needed big money fast to keep a roof over your heads would you consider prostitution to save your family?( No judgement here- just curious if you would do anything for your family hypothetically)
Silly Laws that got passed-- Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie. Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants in Marshalltown, Iowa. Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds. In Denver it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor. In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset. In Greene, New York, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks when a concert is on. In Lexington, Kentucky, it's illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your pocket. In Memphis, Tennessee, it is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians. In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker's stand, you can be fined $25.00. In Pocatello, Idaho, a law passed in 1912 provided that "The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless same are exhibited to public view." In Seattle, Washington, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length. In Tennessee, it is illegal to shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile. In Tulsa, Oklahoma, it is against the law to open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.
What would you do with a talking frog? The Talking Frog An 86 year-old man is out fishing. He was sitting in his boat when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up!" He looked around and did not see any one. He thought he was dreaming until he heard the voice again. "Pick me up." The old man looked in the water and there, floating on a lilly pad was a frog. The man said, "Are you talking to me?" The frog replied, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride." The man looked at the frog for a minute in confusion, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front pocket. The frog screamed, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride!" He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog." *** Link: https://www.sunnyskyz.com/funny-jokes/21/The-Talking-Frog