+3,217This must be how it works; Germ #1- "Oooh, look dude, there's food on the ground, lets go." Germ #2- "Nahh, man. It hasn't been 5 seconds yet." Germ #1- "Yeah, you're right. Gotta follow the rules.", amirite?
+2,910You know what's annoying? Cling wrap clinging to itself. I mean, all you wanted to do was cover some food in plastic but NOOO. First you gotta somehow hold the thing straight with one hand, then perform a small miracle by unclinging the stuff from itself. Then when you try to put it on the dish or whatever, it just clings to itself again. Also world hunger. That shit's pretty bad too, amirite?
+2,758Pringles are the Nazis of potato chips. All single file, dressed the same, corralled by a crazy mustached dictator, amirite?
+2,617Statistics show that 1 in 20 of us live next door to a convicted pedophile. Not me though, I live next to two stunning 12 year olds, amirite?
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+2,273I'll be Burger King and you'll be McDonalds. I'll have it my way and you'll be lovin' it, amirite?
+2,009Coca cola came to town, Pepsi Cola knocked him down. Dr. Pepper fixed him up, now we're drinking Seven Up. Seven Up got the flu, now we're drinking Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew fell off the mountain, now we're drinking from the fountain. Fountain broke, had a stroke, now we're back to plain old Coke. Amirite?
+1,961It sucks when you forget to shake the ketchup and you get the gross juice on your plate, amirite?
+1,856We're all jealous of those people with the crazy fast metabolisms that eat like pigs and still weigh like four pounds, amirite?