You know what's annoying? Cling wrap clinging to itself. I mean, all you wanted to do was cover some food in plastic but NOOO. First you gotta somehow hold the thing straight with one hand, then perform a small miracle by unclinging the stuff from itself. Then when you try to put it on the dish or whatever, it just clings to itself again. Also world hunger. That shit's pretty bad too, amirite?
Coca cola came to town, Pepsi Cola knocked him down. Dr. Pepper fixed him up, now we're drinking Seven Up. Seven Up got the flu, now we're drinking Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew fell off the mountain, now we're drinking from the fountain. Fountain broke, had a stroke, now we're back to plain old Coke. Amirite?
People should stop baking things with love. Eventually, some greedy bastard scientist over at Coca-Cola will figure out love's formula, chemically reproduce it, and then get starving Chinese children to do nonstop manual labor in Coke's factories, producing the most amount of LOVE#57 for the least cost as Coke's CEO sits on a pile of coins, smoking a cigar, laughing maniacally as he rolls it in. So next time someone asks you what's in the cookies, just say, "Fuck you, that's what." Amirite?
You would be much more inclined to eat healthy if your stomach spoke. Like if you ate a salad for dinner you would hear, "Thanks buddy! Have a great day!". But if you ate chips and crap, you would constantly be annoyed hearing "WHAT THE HELL? You're such a fatass!". It would be good encouragment, amirite?