1 Reason to Be a Hufflepuff: The common room is right by the kitchen.

"Tell me, are you Team Edward, or Team Jacob?"
"I'm Team Dumbledore!"
"Wha? Dumbledore ain't a fictional character!"

Well if your girlfriend is a blonde she would forget that it was you that put you in the trunk and declare you her savior.

First Grindlewald was Hitler, now Voldemort is Hitler...

I was Harry Potter last year, and a friend came up to me and pointed to my forehead. "What's that?" "Oh, I'm Harry Potter, that's my scar." "Oh, does he have a scar?"
I was like "..."

Oh, that's cool, they just found out they are going to be on the show. Wait one hot second....there's a camera there.

Playing with my belly button makes me invisible.

Even if he was reaching for her heart, it wouldn't work, because I assume his arm is wrapped around her back in the classic pose, in which case his hand would be on her right side. Unless he reached all the way around and has her in some kind of awkward head-lock or his arm isn't even wrapped around the back, just reaching towards her in an equally awkward position, then his hand wouldn't even be close to her heart.

RUMBLEROAR!!!!

Human giraffe WITH A FREAKIN WINTER HAT. Who does that? This happened to me at the latest Harry Potter movie.

This is insane because we melted ice over Bunsen burners today in science. We were comparing ionic and covalent bonds.

Unless you count Peeves as a fat lady. Because then it would fit.

Ron once took a shower after Quidditch practice.

When people say that they hate reading I kind of want to punch them in the face.

This was funny because when I tried to look up at my forhead, my brow creased so it looked like I was angry.