I bet you had to read this twice, amirite?
The 2 English sentences that can never be used correctly are, "Yes, I am asleep" and "Yes, it is Opposite Day", amirite?

you forgot , "yes, I am dead"

Being a doctor must be way more exciting than being a dentist, because if someone gets sick or is having a baby on a plane or something, you can help them and be the hero. But if you're a dentist, I doubt this ever happens: OH GOD THIS PERSON HAS A CAVITY! IS ANYONE HERE A DENTIST!? amirite?

huh, that's weird, my dentist is number one on my speed dial in case of emergency... wary smilie

I bet you had to read this twice, amirite?
@John_Smith I'm sitting here pounding my fist on my desk in joy. That was good.

yeah, every time I'm happy I like to pound things too, even a poor defenseless desk. Sicko.

Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. "Look at this bitch, eating those fucking crackers like she owns the place!", amirite?
How the hell did the guys who climbed Mt. Everest ever get down? amirite?
"Three" has a hidden message, amirite?

no lo comprendo

Money doesn't grow on trees, but it does grow on parents, amirite?

Oh my sad, misinformed friend, money doesn't grow off parents! You make it with flour, eggs, and sugar. That's how you make the dough.

It's sad that, as a race, we're more content seeing two men holding guns than two men holding hands, amirite?

I'll drink to that.

Do you think pedophiles have types? For example "I like my little girls with blond hair and blue eyes" or is it just "I'll take that fatty over there", amirite?

Sound's like your pedo guy would like Hitler Youth

Its weird to think that we could not use websites for their intended purposes. I mean, if we all band together, we could easily just use this website for sharing pie recipes, amirite?
It's weird to think how our lives would be if mirrors were never invented, amirite?

Its weird to think about what our lives would be like if technology weren't invented, or watches for that matter.

I like turtles because they're so chill. They don't hurt anyone. They're just like, "Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time getting there, I'm not in a rush. Because I'm a turtle." amirite?
@super_sour_diesel The voice in my head that read this sounded reaaaaaaally stoned.

me too! I immediately thought of finding nemo and the voice sounded like the turtle from that movie.

Israel is a terrorist country. amirite?
@Alwaysrite I wanted to say Israel kills Palestinians for nothing.And their holy book says you shall not kill.And they killed...

hey asshole. most people in Israel are FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES. they are surrounded by people who hate them, as much as I hate generalizations, from all the FACTS I've heard and looked up, Palestinians are attacking Israel-along with Irag, Iran, and whole bunch of them. Here's another thing I bet you didn't know, these people who who attack Israel, HIDE BEHIND THEIR CHILDREN AS THEY FIGHT. They know Israel doesn't want to kill the kids. So yeah, maybe you should try getting your facts right before opening your big mouth and saying something stupid again.

If AIDS came from monkeys, what the fuck were our ancestors doing?! amirite?

eating monkeys, duh.