He died how he lived. With a car rammed in his ass. (Stolen)

reminds me of the joke "what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?" ... "nothin', you done told her twice."

Unless they actually have that big a penis...

Ok who else read this like 8 times until they realized they were spelt the same, and you were only pronouncing it differently in your head?

Mr. Feeny! Mr. Fee-nay! Mr. Fee-hee-hee-nay!

@Cassileigh16 If I could find a real life John Bender, I would rape him and then force him to marry me. My favorite scenes are...

"what if your house...no, what if your dope was on fire?" "Impossible sir, its in Johnsons underpants" Hahah! That's one of my favorite parts :)

If you love something, set it free. If it's meant to be, it will return.

I like "There is no I in team, but there is a U in cunt".