It's surprising that none of the guys on Jackass have died yet, amirite?
He died how he lived. With a car rammed in his ass. (Stolen)
I went to a restaurant the other day and I noticed that my waitress had a black eye. I made sure I spoke loud and clear when ordering my food because she obviously had trouble listening, amirite?
reminds me of the joke "what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?" ... "nothin', you done told her twice."
Considering you can fit a normal one over your head, guys who buy XXL condoms are douches, amirite?
Unless they actually have that big a penis...
You pronounce almonds like almonds, not almonds, amirite?
Ok who else read this like 8 times until they realized they were spelt the same, and you were only pronouncing it differently in your head?
Mr. Feeny was the original pedobear. Who's someone's neighbor, grade school teacher, middle school principal, thennn follows them to college without some sexual desire? amirite?
Mr. Feeny! Mr. Fee-nay! Mr. Fee-hee-hee-nay!
John Bender is someone you would want to be on good terms with...I mean, the guy has a mini guillotine in his locker, he can light matches off of his teeth, and he's just a straight up badass, amirite?
"what if your house...no, what if your dope was on fire?" "Impossible sir, its in Johnsons underpants" Hahah! That's one of my favorite parts :)
loving someone means being the best for them, the one that makes them happy and will stay true and faithful, but also giving them the choice to love you in return or choose another. Don't let your love walk away because someone else is "better" you need to rise up and be the one worth loving, the one they want to stay with, not the one who lets go without a fight, amirite?
If you love something, set it free. If it's meant to be, it will return.
There's no "I" in "team" but if you rearrange the letters they can make "meat", like "meat pie" and there is an "I" in pie, amirite?
I like "There is no I in team, but there is a U in cunt".