It's sad how many Americans can't think of a country starting with the letter "U", amirite?

the first thing that came to my mind was Uranus.

God bless America

Anti-jokes are sometimes funnier than real jokes nowadays. Example: Helen Keller walks into a bar. Then a table. Then a door. Amirite?

why did the little boy cry when he sat on santa's lap?

santas boner reminded him of his rapist father.

Girls: you feel safer when you're wearing a bra, amirite?

sooo true. one time i was walking down a dark alley in the middle of the night and the huge gang of serial killers armed with guns came out of nowhere! at first i was pretty scared and i was gonna make a break for it but then i was like "pheww, its ok im wearing a bra!" it was a close one..

Parents spend the first 10 years of a kid's life getting them into bed, the second 10 years getting their kid out of bed and the third 10 years wondering whose bed their kid is in. amirite?

woah woah woah, sex at 11?

they teach them young these days...

So Phineas and Candace have the same hair color as their mom, why is Ferb's hair green, amirite?

ferb's dads hair is brown...?

"The best part of waking up is [username] in your cup." I'm probably the only one that makes sense for, amirite?

ohh i get the "i love the smell of [username} in the morning!"