+1,059No one is afraid of heights, they're afraid of the fall. No one is afraid to play, they're afraid to lose. No one is afraid of the dark, they're afraid of what's in it. No one is afraid to say "I love you", they're afraid of the response. amirite?
+2,861Elementary math problems are weird. "'I had 10 chocolate bars and ate 9. What do I have now?'" Oh, I don't know, DIABETES MAYBE.", amirite?
+13,439There are four stages of life; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus. amirite?
+3,131I put that "Take ten years off" make-up on my 9 and a half year old brother. I don't know where he went, but it might explain why my mom got fat and is acting like a bitch, amirite?
+1,395Don't get mad at old people for not having fun. Time flies when you're having fun, and they need all the time they can get, amirite?
+3,259You hate when you plan a conversation in your head and the other person doesn't follow the script, amirite?
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+2,737Funny prank: Change all the names in someone's phonebook to other peoples' names, and then while they're trying to figure it out you beat them to death with a crowbar, amirite?
+2,307A birthday is when people set your dessert on fire and stand around laughing and smiling while you desperately try to blow it out, amirite?
+3,801I like turtles because they're so chill. They don't hurt anyone. They're just like, "Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time getting there, I'm not in a rush. Because I'm a turtle." amirite?
+900Instead of LOL I'd like to suggest SOSATVCOIIS- Sort Of Smiled At The Vague Comedy Of It I Suppose, amirite?
+2,209I smile, you say I look gay. I don't smile, you say I'm not normal . I join in your conversation, you say I'm eavesdropping, I don't talk, you say I'm stupid. I do well on a test, you make fun of me for being a nerd. I do worse that you, you make fun of me for being stupid. What the hell am I supposed to do?, amirite?
+1,215First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double-take three times... one, two, three. Then... pelvic thrust! Woo! Woo! Stop on your right foot—Don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring it around town! Then you do this, and that, this and that, and this and that, and then..! Perfect bubble, amirite?
+1,330When life hands you high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, ascorbic acid, maltodextrin, sodium acid pyrophosphate, magnesium oxide, calcium fumarate, yellow 5, tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavors...make lemonade, amirite?