+5,129What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit". amirite?
+1,439There should be a universal symbol to put at the start of an email that means "I just wrote you a huge long email but then accidentally deleted it so this is the half-assed 2nd version", amirite?
+451My favorite part about winter is all the sexual innuendo during weather forecasts. "We're going to get pounded hard tonight by eight inches. Expect it to last all night and be prepared for a whiteout in the morning." Giggity... amirite?
+389I'm amazed when a movie character surprises someone with a plane ticket. What if that person can't go? Or needs an alt departure time? You know how hard and expensive it is to get that shit changed?! And don't even get me started on seat preferences, amirite?
+341My female friend started to ask me, "So, from a man's point of view..." Whoa, hold on right there, let me save you some time. He wants to fuck you, and probably your hot sister and/or mom too. amirite?
+696Why don't refrigerators have a milk dispenser next to the water in the door? You could just hold your cereal bowl under it and push the button. amirite?
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+769No matter how many times I watch Titanic I'm 100% sure that if they had tried harder, Jack would've fit perfectly fine on that floating headboard, amirite?
+814For some reason, rarer letters have personality. Z is the cool one, X is kind of edgy and Q is their quirky, stylish cousin, amirite?
+606Deja Vu - When you think you're doing something you've done before, it's because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends. amirite?
+657When someone unexpectedly offers to buy something for me, I will say no one time and then pray to god they offer again. I certainly don't want to pay for it myself, but I don't want to seem greedy, amirite?
+257I don't need to hear your lecture about the environmental effects of my AC. It's 95 degrees and humid outside and I don't believe in sweating this much unless it’s going to result in an orgasm, amirite?
+75A single gene that is dramatically different in chimpanzees and humans may explain why apes cannot talk. Oh well, at least they can still communicate through rap music. amirite?
+105I'm thankful that baby teeth are the only things that kids lose while growing up. Imagine the trauma of a nose falling off. Or a leg. "Why's your daughter hopping around like that?" "Oh, she just lost her baby leg last night, amirite?
+1,733I think the true moral of the Tortoise and the Hare is not 'slow and steady wins the race,' but really, 'don't be an overconfident douche bag. amirite?