Nike should never sponsor a suicide hotline, amirite?

"I..uh...have been some..kind of...suicidal thoughts." "Oh yeah? JUST DO IT!"

Anti-jokes are sometimes funnier than real jokes nowadays. Example: Helen Keller walks into a bar. Then a table. Then a door. Amirite?

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Sometimes a typo is so perfect you don't feel like fixing it, amirite?

One time I told someone to "abuse me" instead of "amuse me". It was weird

Yes I know it's possible to make that pun using my name, it's been done a million times!! amirite?
@TdotJdot If you became Michael Phelps, you would be Swimi Hendrix.

well, if you became Michael Phelps, you'd be Michael Phelps.

You've tried to make up your own slang term, but all your attempts at making it "happen" totally ended up plooging. amirite?

ItsPreeGood, stop trying to make plooging happen. It's not going to happen!

Add the phrase "all over my body" to the end of any sentence, and it's automatically disturbing. amirite?

Winnie the pooh is coming out in july..all over my body

It's kinda cool to think that a baby is two people combined, amirite?

Well every single person is two people combined...

The item to the left of you would look cool on your head in public, amirite?

Laundry basket? I have found something to do tomorrow.

It'd be interesting to see statistics of your life after you die. Like, what joke you found the funniest, how many times you smiled, how many times you laughed, how many times you lied, or how many people you loved, amirite?

How much money you've spent on many texts sent

At some point, you've come up with a really cool invention... only to realize it's already a common product. amirite?

I am almost positive I invented the toaster oven

Dijon vu: The sense you've had the same kind of mustard before. amirite?

Deja boo: being scared by the same thing twice, even though you knew it was coming

It's better to have loved and lost than to stay home every night and download increasingly shameful pornography, amirite?

Big bang theory ftw

You have never used the word "manilla" to describe anything except a folder, amirite?

Once I was texting and said ma nillaaaa instead of ma niggaaaa. If it counts

You want to scream "you're not my real ladder!" at your step-ladder, amirite?

My step-ladder is always trying to get me high. I'm just not comfortable anymore.

It's weird that we have a world hunger problem when endless breadsticks at Olive Garden are five dollars, amirite?
@brandonmh1 Olive Garden is not a luxury.

(brandonmh1):any food at all is a luxury if you're starved