Your first kiss was not at all what you expected. The movies make it seem so idealistic and romantic but in reality it kind of feels like your face is being consumed, amirite?

First ever was an accident..some guy saw the back of my head in the hallway, mistook me for his girlfriend, then really fast spun me around and attacked my face with his face
Still to this day have no fuckin clue who it was, he just shouted "OH SHIT BALLS YOU'RE NOT HER" and ran the other way

It'd be pretty cool if you became a world famous meme, amirite?

"Oh God kill it with fire before it gets any closer Caroline"?

Anonymous +12Reply
In 2006, astronomers sought to better define the heavenly bodies in our universe and unfortunately, Pluto lacked some of the characteristics to be in the same class as Mercury, Earth, or the rest of the eight. Though many of us think of this as a stupid decision, we have to realize that demoting Pluto wasn't their intention: they didn't planet that way, it just happened, amirite?

I managed to grow up, go to college, get a job, get married and raise two children in the time it took this post to get to the punchline.

Anonymous +165Reply
If you pretend to shake salt into your mouth, you can actually taste the salt, amirite?

All I taste is shame.

You don't know anyone from North Dakota, any important event that ever happened in North Dakota, or any famous monument from North Dakota, amirite?
Every zoo is a petting zoo as long as you're not a pussy, amirite?
@ihearandomusic Am I supposed to take this sexually, or...

No...Do you find yourself thinking about animals sexually often or...

Anonymous +86Reply
When you see someone in a Halloween costume, you get an idea of what kind of personality they have. An old fat guy in a banana suit, a twelve year old girl as a sexy bunny, a teenage guy as John Lennon. It's interesting how dressing up as someone you're not can tell so much about who you are, amirite?

Do you know the big problem with a disguise, Mr. Holmes? However hard you try, it's always a self-portrait.
-Irene Adler from Sherlock BBC ("A Scandal in Belgravia")

Anonymous +56Reply
It's annoying how everyone is putting Amanda Todd on such a high pedestal and treating her like some kind of hero. It seems like people don't understand that she is the one that started all of this and could have dealt with it better than the way she did, amirite?
When I start a family, I should name my dog Satan. It would make "write something about your pet" activities for my daughter very interesting, amirite?

Satan likes to talk to me when no one else is around to be my friend goo smilie.

The girl who ran away with her Math teacher didn't want an A+, she wanted the D, amirite?

"How many times does 30 go into 15?"

That's weird. I didn't know 1 in 50 guys don't have a penis...

Okay.... I understand if you hate Twilight.. I really do. But seriously it's pretty much a guarantee that no matter what insult you want to post about it, it has been said. Many times. Edwards gay? Done. Real vampires don't sparkle? Done. Bella is stupid? Done. Harry Potter is better then Twilight? Done times ten. There's nothing left to say.amirite?

I hate when people repeat things over and over again.

The white birds in Angry Birds are pretty counterproductive. In order to get their eggs back from the pigs, they fight them with eggs. amirite?