Straight outta Compton.
Bring a dead body.
"Wait, where did this come from?"
Nope. I used to, but I like to move it move it.
All you need to know is that Voldemort and Harry Potter team up to kill a ginger boy named Ron Weasley. Hermione is a lesbian, and loves Bellatrix, but Bellatrix loves Ron, and she kills Voldemort trying to save Ron. Fred Weasley dies of a drug overdose. A horcrux is a magical item that makes Harry invincible. Harry and Ron fight to the death, but Harry wins due to the Horcrux. Fred's twin, George Weasley, commits suicide after Ron and Fred die. Bellatrix steals Harry's Horcrux, and kills him for killing the love of her life, and then Hermione kills Bellatrix, knowing she could never have her. Hermione marries Nevile Longbottom, pretending to love him. They end up ruling the wizard world, over throwing Albus Dumbledore.
Or they could give plastic flowers and say, "These flowers are like our love; completely and utterly fake, as well as a magnet for dust and spiders."
Go-Go Gadget Boobs!
Shit already went down. Shit is always going down. Tornadoes and Indian attacks and tsunamis and plagues of locusts, slave rebellions and solar eclipses and hordes of vikings come to pillage, volcanoes and freak lightning strikes and houses foolishly built on fault lines, packages lost in the mail and plummeting coconuts and poisonous snakes that get into people's homes and just ruin everyone's day, terrorists and extremists and boyfriends who cheat and toilets that get frequently clogged. The world is full of shit. It has always been full of shit. We see natural disasters of some sort at least once a month. Somewhere a forest is burning, a murderer is plotting, a religious fanatic is predicting the next apocalypse, and lava is slowly oozing out from a volcano in Hawaii. Shit went down in our parents lives, and our grandparents lives, and in the lives of the cavemen from whom we descended. Oh, you're a creationist? Well I'm sure some shit went down in God's workshop while he tried to figure out how to get our feet on straight. This post is meaningless. It means nothing.
Oh look, I told you off. Some shit just went down.
It's not funny because I have the same problem. My name is Nick but people mispronounce it as "Hey retard"
That's a great way to tell someone you want a divorce.
"These flowers will last as long as our marriage."
"These flowers are dead."
"Yeah, we need to talk"
Why? Is the doctor gonna let me fuck him?
When I have an erection lasting longer than four hours, I call your mom
If harry had been a hufflepuff maybe it wouldn't have taken him so long to find all those dang horcruxes
I FIND that very offensive
Fine, then. How about a gun? Seriously, how badass would that final confrontation have been if Harry walked up and Tom was all
"Now, Potter, once and for all, you di-"
and then Harry pulled out a glock and was like
"Avada Kedavera, motherfucker BAM"