The real reason that women never propose is that as soon as they get down on one knee men start unzipping, amirite?

"You might as well propose to me."

And if you want the joke to do really well, go ahead and stab the guy a few times, just for kicks and giggles.

Every Easter, you're like "Uhhh, spoiler alert! Some of us haven't finished the Bible yet!", amirite?

The movie left so much out.

It's ridiculous when people think masturbating is cheating. Everyone does it. I should be able to sue my school for kicking me out of my exam room, amirite?

I went to the doctor and he told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked why, and he said, "Because I'm trying to check for testicular cancer!"

Why do teachers always seem to blame the fact that they can't handle their classes on the time of day? E.g. "Come on guys, I know it's Monday morning"; "Come on guys, I know it's Friday afternoon"; "Come on guys, I know it's 9:23 on a Thursday"; amirite?

Monday: "I know the week just started, but I need your attention."
Tuesday: "I know you are still getting used to the new week, but I need your attention."
Wednesday: "I know it's Hump Day, but I need your attention."
Thursday: "I know the weekend is coming, but I need your attention."
Friday: "I know it's almost the end of the week, but I need your attention."

If you could choose between solving world hunger or receiving 10 million dollars you would pick the 10 million dollars, amirite?
@Simon Fuck world hunger. They should have thought of that before they chose to be born in a third world country.

I hate you ignorant people who say that being hungry is a choice, when there is scientific evidence showing that it is clearly genetic.

When you mess up or do something stupid, your mom thinks it's your new hobby. Ex: "This is my daughter; she likes to make out with the neighbors.", amirite?

Gotta love that pussy stench! Oh, wait. What did that say? rereads Oh, that makes more sense.

you hate how it's hot for guys to have big muscles, but it's weird for girls to have big muscles, amirite?

I like this girl.

That's so gay? Oh, right, getting detention is so HOMOSEXUAL! That cop gave you a ticket because he is so INTO THE SAME GENDER! This party is so MAN ON MAN ACTION! Seriously people, pull it together, amirite?

That's so lame? Oh, right, getting detention is so UNABLE TO WALK! That cop gave you a ticket because he is so NOT ABLE TO USE HIS FEET! This party is so DIFFICULT IN BEING ABLE TO MOVE! Seriously people, pull it together, amirite?

Sometimes when you're a girl you prefer to have guy friends, amirite?
@karen_xoxo I'm a girl and most of my friends are guys. Guys are always there for you and they don't start drama. I love it.

Just don't let them touch your humps, or you will start some drama, and we don't want no drama.

Obama looks a bit like an older, black version of Michael Phelps, amirite?

But for once, the white guy has more gold hanging from his neck.

This is not a drill; it's a sledgehammer, amirite?

I'm sorry, could you repeat that for me?

Americans would have had British Accents...stupid revolution, amirite?

July 4, 1776:
Thomas Jefferson: "And with that, we are a free nation!"
John Hancock: "We'd better change our accents, quick!"

I'm going to break my old iPod in half right now! No one try to stop me! I'll sell both halves for $1,000 a piece! I'll make millions!

Saying that Harry Potter is a book about magic is like saying that Animal Farm is a book about animals, amirite?

All wizards are magical, but some wizards are more magical than others.