The real reason that women never propose is that as soon as they get down on one knee men start unzipping, amirite?

"You might as well propose to me."

It's ridiculous when people think masturbating is cheating. Everyone does it. I should be able to sue my school for kicking me out of my exam room, amirite?

I went to the doctor and he told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked why, and he said, "Because I'm trying to check for testicular cancer!"

Every Easter, you're like "Uhhh, spoiler alert! Some of us haven't finished the Bible yet!", amirite?

The movie left so much out.

And if you want the joke to do really well, go ahead and stab the guy a few times, just for kicks and giggles.

Why do teachers always seem to blame the fact that they can't handle their classes on the time of day? E.g. "Come on guys, I know it's Monday morning"; "Come on guys, I know it's Friday afternoon"; "Come on guys, I know it's 9:23 on a Thursday"; amirite?

Monday: "I know the week just started, but I need your attention."
Tuesday: "I know you are still getting used to the new week, but I need your attention."
Wednesday: "I know it's Hump Day, but I need your attention."
Thursday: "I know the weekend is coming, but I need your attention."
Friday: "I know it's almost the end of the week, but I need your attention."

Imagine how long it would take to decide on a company name. It's like your username, except it actually matters, amirite?
Dinner and a movie is the worst idea for a first date. Let's show each other how good we are a pigging out, then sit next to each other in silence for a couple hours. That will definitely make me want to be around you more, amirite?

I think it's a nice idea, but your wording would make anyone agree with you. What about a walk in the park? "Let's go get some unnecessary exercise and probably sweat a lot by walking in a public area where tons of noisy children will be around to bug us."

Americans would have had British Accents...stupid revolution, amirite?

July 4, 1776:
Thomas Jefferson: "And with that, we are a free nation!"
John Hancock: "We'd better change our accents, quick!"

That's so gay? Oh, right, getting detention is so HOMOSEXUAL! That cop gave you a ticket because he is so INTO THE SAME GENDER! This party is so MAN ON MAN ACTION! Seriously people, pull it together, amirite?

That's so lame? Oh, right, getting detention is so UNABLE TO WALK! That cop gave you a ticket because he is so NOT ABLE TO USE HIS FEET! This party is so DIFFICULT IN BEING ABLE TO MOVE! Seriously people, pull it together, amirite?

When you mess up or do something stupid, your mom thinks it's your new hobby. Ex: "This is my daughter; she likes to make out with the neighbors.", amirite?
@runnerdude What's worse is when you get to around 10th grade and they start asking you what college you want to go to. And if...

That's silly. The Honolulu Institute of Colorado doesn't have Quantum Mechanical Biology as a major!

The Hunger Games has three books. 23 people die every year. There are 12 districts. The movie came out on 3-23-12. This is not a coincidence, amirite?

No, this is a coincidence.

You would push the garaunteed $1 million button instead of the 50% chance of $100 million button, amirite?

I know it'd be tough, but I think I could get by with just one million dollars.

Someone should create a show that revolves around a family that involves a stupid but lovable father, a hot misunderstood mother, and their kids getting into crazy antics all the time, amirite?

Here's a crazy show idea. Well, you see, one average man marries and average woman. Sounds normal, right? But here's the crazy twist: they have SIX kids!

If you could choose between solving world hunger or receiving 10 million dollars you would pick the 10 million dollars, amirite?
@Simon Fuck world hunger. They should have thought of that before they chose to be born in a third world country.

I hate you ignorant people who say that being hungry is a choice, when there is scientific evidence showing that it is clearly genetic.

People with mental illnesses (depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, etc.) and ESPECIALLY psychotic disorders should not be allowed to have kids, amirite?

No one is born free from problems. This is especially insulting to me because my parents both had anxiety and depression and I have schizophrenia. I believe I am allowed to have children. Besides, are you trying to create a problem-free "perfect" society? This sounds vaguely Nazi-ish.