It would suck if Santa Claus really didn't exist and it was just our parents putting gifts under the tree every year, amirite?

How could parents possibly fly all over the world in one night? Don't be silly.

People will hate me for this but Dragonball Z is overrated. I use to watch it too and I still like it but the power levels of the characters are way overdone. They try way too hard to give all these characters incredible power to where they can destroy a planet with 1 finger. This makes a lot of the characters boring. At least in other shows you get better fight choreography instead of random fast punches. It makes all the fights look the same after a while. They just...tried too hard...

Hot girls, we have problems too. We're just like you except we're hot.

"Manuscript" is probably the classiest place to hide the word "anus.", amirite?
@poler10 And endorsement is a great place to hide semen...

Can I come over to night to look over your manuscript, and maybe give it my endorsement? hello smilie

"No you close Skype" is the modern equivalent of "no you hang up", amirite?
@MartellusBoss Who won? Vote by upvoting/downvoting our last verses.

WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!

E-E-EP-EP-EP-EPIC BATTLES OF AMIRITE!

How do you know if someone is vegetarian? Don't worry, they'll tell you. amirite?
@1818610

Oh my god BlacklightsAndQueens you can't just ask people if they eat fish.

Guys: Whenever you pee and it comes out in multiple directions you call your penis a "dick" and then it looks at you and you both laugh together at how you were accidentally clever but then you realise your dick shouldn't be laughing or looking at you so you begin to yell at it until it goes limp. But then you feel bad for yelling so massage it until you're back on speaking terms. Then as you begin to recollect about what just happen you think, "Wow this hypothetical has gotten way out of hand.", amirite?
@AppAwesome 9/10. Hypothetical, and very funny, made me laugh.

1/10. Tsk tsk. Where's your consistancy App? It's not relatable or an opinion.

Anonymous +32Reply
You don't understand how one looks down at their beautiful new born baby that they carried for 9 months and spent so many hours giving birth to and realise that this thing is going to change their life in so many amazing ways and then proceed to name it Laquisha, amirite?
Alcohol makes people behave like idiots. A baby makes people behave like idiots with strange voices amirite?
@1796454

Why yes, my alcoholism was caused by my hatred of babies.

The best episode of House is that one where House has to solve a really complex medical mystery while battling a Vicodin addiction and attraction to his boss, amirite?

I liked the one where it wasn't Lupus.

You have a feeling that a lot of quotes on the Internet attributed to Albert Einstein weren't actually said by him, amirite?

starts cutting open a watermelon
"What? This thing is way overripe."

@Harper And if you want the joke to do really well, go ahead and stab the guy a few times, just for kicks and giggles.

HARPER!! for some reason if i view your comment while on the "best of - today" page, it squares itself every time i vote it up! this is the result is this: http://ctrlv.in/109984