+596If you’re a “nice guy” to a girl up until you realize she doesn’t want to date you, then go on about how she’s a cold shrew that friendzoned you and how no girls date nice guys, sorry but girls do date nice guys. You just aren’t a nice guy. You’re a passive aggressive beta with internalized misogyny and a serious victim complex, amirite?
+1,331Lord Voldemort uses Twitter but not Facebook because he only has followers, not friends. amirite?
+1,302Girls: When told to "make a sammich" for your man, don't object. Go with it. Make it the most delicious sammich ever. Then, eat it right in front of him. amirite?
+887Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration. A guy sticks his location in a girl's destination, to increase the population for the next generation, did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration? Amirite?
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+679I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, sayin "Whoah man...just take it easy...put the gun down." Amirite?
+987If i had a pet spider, i'd name him, Holy shit Where'd it go! because then i could say, "this is my pet spider, Holy shit where'd it go! amirite?
+963Sometimes out of nowhere, you just become angry with the world and find everything annoying, and you think things like "I HATE WHEN PEOPLE TAP THEIR PENCILS REPEATEDLY" or "WHY ARE YOUR EYEBROWS SO ANNOYINGLY LONG", amirite?
+1,322I think my girlfriend's hallucinating. She keeps telling me she's seeing other people, amirite?
+514Daoism: Shit happens. Hinduism: This shit happened before. Buddhism: When this shit happens, is it really shit? Islam: If shit happens, take a hostage. Catholics: if shit happens, I guess I deserved it. Atheist: There is no shit going on. Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to me? Jehovah’s Witness: Knock, knock, shit’s happening on your door-step, amirite?
+1,193If you forget your lunch money, a good friend will lend you some, a best friend will also lend you some, because your best friend isn't an asshole, amirite?